


Again: The Sequel to Falling

by APRiordan13



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:31:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/APRiordan13/pseuds/APRiordan13
Summary: Athena and Solas both must suffer through the old Dalish curse --referring to in-game party banter with Vivienne-- as they struggle on toward their ultimate end goal.
Relationships: Solas & Original Character(s)
Kudos: 12





	1. Dark Depths

**Author's Note:**

> Please finish the game (Trespasser included first). Severe spoilers.

Falling, tumbling backwards until I could get my feet back under me. My ribs ached, my shoulders hurt, and I felt my lip puff from hitting the mat on that slide. I sucked it into my mouth and spit the blood from it out to the side before I was rushing again. Sure I was trained in martial arts, knew the basic strategies of war and war games, but this time, my fight was one on one, no magic allowed and I was getting my ass handed to me. He flipped me and tossed me to the side again and I slid backwards on my toes and fingers barely staying up right.

“Again.” I set my teeth and felt my skin heat.

“No,” Mythal called from the side and I settled lightly.

It was harder. My natural need to just shift was harder to contain, but the agreement had been, no magic, that included shifting forms. I growled and spit the blood away again. It also meant that I could not heal my injuries until later.

Abelas straightened to smile down at me. “Too hard for you?” I growled again and launched forward. Probably the most irritating part for me, he wasn’t even sweating as he tossed me away repeatedly, never using more than a single hand. I rolled and came up right. “Again.”

“No,” Mythal called as ‘again’ ripped the edges of the old wound and began to feel myself heat up despite my efforts to contain it. “That’s enough for now.” She came out and touched the side of my face. I felt the injuries seal up and my anger began to abate. She slid a finger under my chin and I met the yellow-eyed gaze of the one they called the Mother Goddess. I knew better. I would never call them gods, but her wisdom was still worth listening to. She’d been around a _very_ long time. “Don’t let the words get under your skin so easy. Abelas is trying to prepare you. No need to turn him into dinner.” I flushed.

“Yes, my lady.” She smiled, and then turned to Abelas who bowed to her.

“I think I will walk the garden. The two of you can come with me.” Her sanctuary had been destroyed and then pillaged after the Inquisition’s quest through there so Mythal and her few remaining guardians stayed here, in the darkened under-keep of Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf, or for those that knew him before his titles, Solas.

Her suggestion stirred the ache again and I looked away.

“You cannot avoid the gardens forever, child,” she said softly to me. Mythal missed nothing; I’d learned that much the hard way. It was why she had Abelas training me for now. My first attempt to train with her had gone very badly.

I sighed and in almost automatic response, my hand fell to my lower stomach. “I think I may go hunt up dinner.”

“It is not hunger that pangs you, girl. Come walk the garden with me.”

_I’d rather not._ I ached and felt it carve its way up into my chest. It had been hard to accept and harder to cope with after.

“Do you trust me?” Mythal asked, turning my gaze back to hers.

“In this place, I have no reason not to.” She smiled.

“A clever answer, but not a proper one. Do you trust my wisdom?” I nodded.

“All should. The Lady of Many Years has much to teach all, if they will listen.”

“Then listen, girl. I know what ails you, we all do. Walk the gardens with me. You will find that it helps.” I pleaded with that gaze quietly for mercy for a moment but Mythal did not give advice and then change her mind. I sighed. If I trusted her wisdom, if I would condemn others for not listening to the wisdom of one who had lived so long, I would need to hold myself to the same standard. It was just…hard. I straightened and pulled my shoulders back, then nodded to her. “It won’t be as bad as all that,” she said gently and slid her arm through mine as she led the three of us out into the gardens.

It shouldn’t have amazed me. I’d learned that several of Solas’ oldest friends still existed, though quietly, so the fact that his sanctuary had been maintained and protected, shouldn’t have amazed me, but the level of detail the elves that had—for generations now—spent in restoring and maintaining his special place was still astounding. Plants and flowers and budding trees that had long since died out in the world above.

I felt the pang again and as I moved to place my hand there again, I found Abelas had my other arm linked in his.

I looked at him surprised a moment. Since my waking here, no man had had the guts to try to touch me without either Solas or Mythal specifically ordering them to.

“He acts on my instruction,” Mythal stated and I looked over at her smiling face. “The gardens are so beautiful here. They always have been.” She was done discussing Abelas and was in full flow. I loved listening to her when she got into these times and it did seem to at least take the jagged edge off the aching pain seething through my body. “Once, a very long time ago,” she began as if she were merely some eighty year old recounting her teenage years, “these gardens were filled with fauna as well. The wolf has always loved his hunt, but this was a sanctuary, a place that the wolf did not hunt. None were permitted to. Anything here was protected.” She sighed. “Elgan’s dislike for the pup caused many of the creatures here to go extinct.” A dozen angry glares came her way. “I will speak of my husband if it pleases me. If it upsets you, don’t listen.” Most blushed and turned away. “Where was I?”

“You were recounting the memories of the old garden, your grace,” Abelas answered automatically. She laughed. I had always loved her laugh, full bodied and rich. Her laugh was as much her as anything else. She was experienced, knowledgeable and wise beyond counting. There was likely only one creature in existence I would wager as wise as her and that was the spirit of Wisdom herself.

“Ah, yes. The beautiful garden.” She sighed. “I have no idea why he keeps these fall colors now.”

“He is in mourning,” I answered and she pshed.

“Foolishness. He hadn’t even met the child.” I felt my eyes bead with moisture and grit my teeth. “You at least have a reason.”

“He was no less excited, my lady.”

“Good. Then he wasn’t a fool.” I smiled lightly. If there was anything Solas wasn’t, it was a fool. “But the pain of a miscarriage belongs to the mother. _He_ needs to put this away,” she stated waving at the trees in bright oranges and yellows. Even the bushes were burnished browns and golds.

“You’ll forgive, my lady, but I won’t be the one to force that.”

“No?” she asked quirking an eyebrow at me. She had such beautiful refined features that even that act did not mar them. “Then who do you imagine will?”

I sighed. “It is-”

“His right. Yes, you’ve said it a hundred times. But it is as much your right and duty, girl, to force him out of it. Sometimes love is harder than just reaching out a hand.”

“Indeed it is.” The voice that still set my heart to beating faster. I released both of them to turn and launch myself into the arms I loved so. He tucked me up to his shoulder and nuzzled into my hair.

“Oh, if the dead don’t return to us,” Mythal said in jest.

“Falon’din can stay where he is for now,” Solas shot back and she grinned. I clung tighter to him.

I hated coming here, seeing all the life that could be, imagining all the things I would have loved to have done with my daughter here. I felt him kiss into my hair again.

“Atishan, Vhenan. I know.” I swallowed hard and tried to tamp it down again. He set me on my feet and I snuggled against his chest a moment. His proximity was nearly the only thing that helped ease the ache. Nearly. “How’s she doing?” he asked Abelas.

Abelas smiled. “Her temper is nearly as bad as yours.” Solas chuckled.

“Never ask an honest man a question you don’t want directly answered.”

Mythal laughed then too. “Truthfully, she is improving, though her temper does seem to be getting worse. We may have to keep you near at least while she’s training for a while.”

He sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Your grace,” an older elf came up to us. “I’ve the report you requested.” Solas smiled as he accepted the scroll.

“Thank you.” The man grinned and left.

_To them, your thanks are greater than any commendation._ Solas sighed.

_You are likely right. _

“Important news, wolf, or can you stroll with us a moment before you return to your war?” He smiled up at his friend.

“I can spare some time.” He looked down at me, “Besides, I haven’t seen my mate in nearly a week. I’d like to spare some time.” Mythal grinned.

“Still as love-crazed as ever. Puppies never do grow out of it.” He quirked his brow. “Oh, come off it,” she finally said with a laugh. “I’ve called you a hound for millennia longer than those _individuals_ have ever called you ‘The Dread Wolf’.” She repeated his title with a mockingly deeper tone. She would never address him that way and he knew it. “Come,” she insisted, linking arms with Abelas. “Perhaps we can brighten both your sullen moods to at least put the garden back into Summer. Too much to hope for Spring.”

I smiled at her back and linked my arm in Solas’ as we walked.

_I’m sorry she dragged you in here._

_ She’s a woman of her own mind. _No one_ tells _that_ woman what to think or do._ He smiled faintly. _Besides, as you say, it has been a good bit of time._ I looked away then, though I know he heard my next thoughts. _Beginning to think maybe you had grown bored of me._ He turned my chin back to face him.

_That will never happen_. I blinked back the tears.

“Consciously, I know. It just still hurts and seems to seek out outlets wherever it can.”

Before he could respond, a runner came up to him and bowed. “My Lord. The soldiers have returned.” He sighed.

“Time runs shorter.”

I smiled up at him. “It is war, ma lath. Time always runs shorter in war.” He lifted my hands to his mouth and I watched it play across his face whether or not to go. “You must,” I insisted and he met my eyes.

He sighed. “I think I might just bring you with me.”

“Solas.”

“I believe,” Mythal stated, “that I extended _my_ protection to the girl for the next few months.”

“You are welcome to come as well.” Mythal quirked that eye brow. “I must insist,” he stated staring down at me. _I’ve been away from you too long._ He dropped our hands so they lay connected between us. “I will have my mate at my side.” _Where she belongs_. I smiled sadly up at him. My instinctive pull to place my hand back on my stomach again got a quick tug and had me pulled up tight to him. “I know, ma lath.”

“Well, if you’re going to insist,” Mythal said in a joking tone, “then we might as well get on with it.” I felt her Fade-jump only a moment before Solas Fade-jumped us. The great doors, nearly three stories tall opened at his will and the soldiers all marched in. Few paused to look up at us but most merely filed into lines.

I smiled faintly as I recognized the soldier that walked straight up to Solas to bow to him. _Forreh._

“Welcome home,” Solas greeted as the movements stopped. “I hear you have news for me.”

Forreh grinned up at him. “The qunari move exactly as anticipated.” He threw a glance over at me and I met his gaze. He bowed lower. “My lady.” Then he returned his gaze to Solas. “The information you received has them perfectly pinpointed. This won’t take but perhaps a single soldier, two at most to orchestrate properly, and we should have them back without damage in less than a full month.” Solas smiled.

“You say that as though any here doubt where the information came from.” I blushed.

_Solas._ I tried to be remonstrative.

Forreh turned to me and bowed deeply. “We are all grateful for the guidance of the dragon.”

Solas grinned at me and I sighed. “I do only what I feel is right.”

“Then may we never make you feel like it is wrong,” Forreh said with a smile. Most are fooled by smiles, I knew that. His eyes spoke pity, not mirth and I wondered to why.

_The soldiers know, my heart. Many were, excited for the idea._

I sighed and my forced smile disappeared. _I failed many it would seem._

“Vhenan.”

“I’m sorry,” I said in a voice broken, looking out at them. Smiles faded and a hundred heads lowered nearly to the ground. “I didn’t mean,”

“You have failed no one, Fenorain,” Solas insisted.

From his near prostrate position, Forreh looked up at me. “We have never believed you failed us, my lady. We ache for the pain it caused you. We hope, the pain will not be too great, that you will heal and walk beside his grace more often.” I felt the tear drop and nodded.

“I hope so too.” He bowed again. I sighed. “It would seem I brought the party down. Ara seranna ma.” Without response, I Fade-jumped to our room. The great bed had been of little comfort at all over the past few months, but I burrowed into it. I would not bring myself to cry before strangers. I ached and it hurt. I threw a barrier around the room then. I did not want to deal with anyone right now. Just let me feel my pain and be done with it.

[[[“It would appear she was not ready,” Mythal said then.

Solas squeezed his eyes shut a moment. “So it would seem.”

“Your grace,” Forreh began but Solas knew his tones and Solas shook his head.

“No, Forreh. None of you did anything.” He sighed. “Wisdom warned that she may be in pain for a year. It has barely been six months.” Forreh nodded, though obviously still not happy about it. “Select your men and see to their instructions. Let the others rest. They’ve all earned it.”

“With your leave, your grace, I’d go myself.” Solas smiled.

“Not this time.” Forreh went to argue and Solas raised a hand. “I know you could handle it, probably better than most, but you’ve been in the field for centuries now. Take a few days. It won’t hurt you. I promise.” Everyone laughed then.

“I suppose,” Forreh said with a light nod. “I would ask for volunteers but I know ever foot back there would step up.” Another round of chuckles and he sighed. “Feno, Anolyth, handle it! The rest of you, find something willing, water, wine, women and rest!” Most chuckled and began moving out.

Anolyth looked barely over twenty to Solas and the boy grinned anxiously. “A pleasure to serve, your grace. Don’t worry. We’ll get it handled.” Solas nodded and he nearly skipped off.

“Your men still love you,” Mythal said with a smile as all dispersed. After all but Mythal and Abelas had cleared the area, Forreh met Solas’ eyes quite differently.

“Okay. Now for the real reason you wanted me here?” Solas chuckled.

“It was truth,” Solas began.

“Uh-huh. And Mythal is only a great beauty and her presence here has nothing to do with her wisdom or your friendship that expands past even my years.”

Solas smiled at his friend, then gripped his head, and set their foreheads together as his pain won out over the smile. “Because I need my friends right now.”

Forreh nodded lightly and swallowed. “I worried it might be something like that.” He grinned up at Solas then. “Usually means that before the end of it, I’ll be on the downhill side of a training ring.” Solas tried to smile, though it came off more sad than smile.

He never got a chance to respond as the maiden elf approached Mythal and bowed. “My lady.”

Solas’ instincts went off then and his full attention shifted to the girl.

“What is it?” Mythal asked kindly. The girl wet her lips before looking up at Mythal.

“I, the lady, the lady dragon, she,” the girl stumbled.

“She what?” Solas demanded and Mythal raised an eyebrow. His instincts had never failed him and his stomach sank to the pit of his guts.

The girl blinked back. “Do not fear the wolf, girl. What about the lady dragon,” Mythal asked kindly.

The girl nodded hesitantly. “She’s barriered herself with the room. I cannot even bring in breakfast.”

“Have you tried to dispel it?”

“Yes, Great Lady.” Mythal fumed a moment then slapped Solas with a quick gaze.

“Far, too soon,” before she Fade-jumped and found herself bounced back on the floor before the room.

Solas’ attempt went no better. He caught himself on toes and fingers and found himself looking down to steady himself. He stared up. She’d used her own energies to cast that. No way the Veil wouldn’t have ricocheted _that_ back. He sighed and righted himself. _Far too soon, indeed._ “Ma Vhenan?” he called. “Ma Lath, drop the barrier.” He received no response. _Athena?_

_Leave me be, Solas._ He grit his teeth then. Even within he could hear her voice breaking.

_My own selfish need to have you close. My heart, please. Drop the barrier._ “Athena. Judirtha’i’em, Fenorain?”

“You think yelling through the door will help?” Mythal asked. She reached to the Veil and drew in. Her first attempt sent her backwards into Abelas.

“Certainly better than alerting all of the Fade as to where she is.” Mythal scoffed as Abelas helped her back to her feet.

“I did try to warn you, wolf,” Wisdom stated as she appeared, flickering beside him. Forreh bowed deeply to her and she scoffed a half-chuckle, before returning to the task before her. “Do you think you can break through that?”

Solas sighed. “If I had to, though it might hurt her, so I’m inclined to try just about any other way.”

“You have to,” Wisdom assured him. He quirked an eyebrow. “So lost in your own pain that you cannot _hear_ her?”

He panicked a moment then forced his mind to be still and he heard her, loud as if she were screaming it.

_Stupid, foolish girl! In a world you don’t belong in, surrounded by peoples you do not know, advising armies you have no business involving yourself in and for what? Why? You mean _nothing _to them. You are _nothing, it was all he would hear. He bolted his energy down with their joined Will and shattered the barrier into shimmering fragments before he rocket kicked the door in. She lay there, writhing in the covers, strangling herself with them in her pain. He yanked them away like a poison wine and pulled her up to him, against her fighting him weakly. He burrowed against her, snuggling his head in a tight grip behind her shoulder as he pulled her tight to him. The tighter the less she could fight and hurt herself in the process; he’d learned that the hard way already.

“Let me go. Just leave me alone, Solas.”

“Not a chance.”

Forreh stepped into the shattered doorway beside Wisdom and looked down on the weeping couple in sympathy. “Will she heal?”

Wisdom shrugged. “It is hard to say. He was not supposed to leave her side for the first year for a reason. Since those reasons have already wormed themselves into her skin, it is hard to say.”

Solas hearing this grimaced as he held her tighter. _Athena. My sweet Athena. Please. You have to stay with me, my love._ He kissed over into her hair, his tears sticking her hairs to his face. _Please, my heart. Don’t leave me alone here._

“And if those worms win?” Forreh asked tentatively. Wisdom looked at him sadly. “Oh.” He was silent a moment.

“Just leave me alone,” Athena repeated again and tried to push him away. His heart tore as he held her tighter, gritting his teeth against that pain that numbed his body.

“Never going to happen.” _Please, my love. Come on, Athena, we can beat this. Together we can beat anything. Don’t go. Stay with me, my heart. Please._

Her thrashing was getting worse.

“Is there, anything we can do to help?” Forreh asked then. Wisdom patted his shoulder gently.

“Be there for him.”

“I mean with, with keeping her, with helping her stay, here.”

“That’s on him at this point. He made a choice. The price is his to pay.” The words echoed through Solas’ skull and the tears streamed his face.

_Fade Stars not this. Not this price. Not her. Athena, Please!_ His teeth could not set, as his mouth came open to heave down breaths. “Athena. Athena, Vhenan, please. You have to fight this, ma Lath. You have to fight.” He kissed into her hair again. “Athena.”

“She has to choose. Whether to live in a world that has shown her extreme pains, or let go of that will and fade like a spirit that never was.”

“It seems she’s had a similar choice before,” Mythal stated boldly and Wisdom turned to her.

“She has, but you have miscarried as well. You know the horrors she is suffering.”

Mythal straightened slightly. It wasn’t a time in her life she purposely tried to remember. “I suppose, though I was older and I had another daughter to live for at the time.”

Wisdom smiled sadly at her. “The girl has neither of those things.”

“You’re saying I should play nicer with her.”

“I’m saying that she has neither of those things. Her choice may be different. I cannot say.”

Forreh shifted uncomfortably as his oldest friend sobbed over the girl fighting him. “Is there, a way to help her choose, or influence the choice?”

Wisdom smiled at him.

Solas could no longer hear their conversation. It had numbed to the screaming in his mind. _Athena! Please, my love! Don’t do this! Don’t go! I need you here! I need you with me, my heart. Please!_

An echoed voice seemed to surround them. _“Appeal to the dragon!” _It was the voices of all four in the room then.

_Dragon?_ Solas shifted and set his head to the dragon skull bound to her forehead and willed himself within her. The waves of her will were cascading, drowning the dragon in pain, lash after lash. She was tiring of swimming harder, tiring of fighting the waves. The echoes around him said as much.

_I could just let one drag me under. No more pain, no more fight._

“Athena!” The dragon looked up in time to be lashed under again. He set his will then to waves and fought against them for a while.

Four friends watched as both bodies sitting still as death on that bed began beading sweat.

“Athena!” he called to her again and lashed the wave back as it reached to fall on her. _Enough of this._ With one great howl he took on his Dread Wolf shape and charged into the waters. “Athena!” the barked growl fought against waves threatening to push her down further. For what seemed hours but was in fact only half of one, he battled the waves and the dragon gasped in breaths, her wings beating heavily to keep her upright, her hands clasped desperately to her chest and back legs kicking to press upward. Finally the waves subsided and heaving breaths, the wolf lay his head by the dragon to nudge at her. “Athena?”

She looked up at him, the tears lining her eyes as she opened her hand claws and he saw what she clung to, what she protected from sinking and he felt his own eyes fill. There, wrapped in her claws was a little rag knotted to look like a doll and he wept as he nuzzled his mate.

“Athena, my sweet Athena.” He whined as he nuzzled against her. “This was not your fault.” He licked the tears from her great jaw. “You did not fail me or my men. This was not your fault,” he repeated. She shook her great head slightly.

“Solas.” A weak denial.

“No, vhenan. This was not your fault. You did not know. No one could have guessed what would happen. You said so yourself.” She thrashed lightly and the waves began again and he quashed them quickly. “You said so before you flew us there that day. You could not promise, but you came home.” She cried again and he nuzzled into the tear path. “You came home, ma lath. And though I ache for her as well, _you_ are what I need. You are my mate, my life, Vhenan. I do not wish a life without you. I will not have one.”

“Solas.” It was shifting, her battle between will to fight and the deep urge to just let it all go. He could hear her.

“Please, vhenan. I need you. Please. Come back to me, come back with me.” He sighed as he pleaded to her. “I would change anything, the worlds, each of them to have you with me. I would abandon this whole war,” he began.

“You can’t,” she tried to be forceful but for her broken voice and heart it came out desperate and she swallowed and tried to heave in a few breaths.

“Yes, ma Lath. Breathe,” he pleaded nuzzling against her. “Try. Please.” His gaze bore into hers, begging her to reach out and he felt when the line snapped there, when his plea reached deep enough. She launched out of the water mid transformation and he caught her, his elven arms wrapping tight behind his lover as she fell against him, crying, screaming, begging him to make it a bad dream, make it not true. His heart ached even as it rejoiced. Hope.

“Solas!” He brought them both back into their bodies and she clung to him. “Solas. Solas, please, don’t let it be real. Tell me it’s a dream, a horrible dream? Don’t let this nightmare be real. Solas, please.” Her sobs wracked against him but he held her, kissing into her hair, stroking his hand down her back, curling her closer.

“Hush, Athena. It’s going to be okay.”

Wisdom smiled down at them. “Hope.” Forreh sighed then. “Keep an eye on her.” He nodded emphatically.

“Definitely.” Wisdom disappeared then and Forreh looked down at his best friend.

“Te’elan ma’laima. Te’ma,” he whispered to her nuzzling her head with his own.

“Solas.”

He slipped into what was now called ancient elven then. “_Please, my heart. Just stay with me. Stay with me. Athena. Athena, please. Please forgive me. I should never have left you alone, not for a moment. The fault is mine. Forgive me, my love, my Athena. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I swear it to you. Athena, please. I cannot lose you. Please, Athena. Not you. Fade Stars, please not you.”_

“Solas!” She cried against him, clinging tighter. Mythal looked down and quirked a half smile.

“A choice remade.” She smiled down at them a while as the girl cried herself out against the wolf.

Abelas’ still motion may fool many, but none but Mythal could hear the prayers he voiced in his mind for the situation. The girl had fire, spirit, he’d seen it a hundred times on the training field now. To see her so broken was, upsetting. Especially since he wasn’t really sure what had set her off.

“She will be alright, Abelas,” Mythal said smiling at him. “She has chosen to fight.” He nodded. Mythal had never in her many millennia of ruling over them, lied to him. He had no doubt in her words now. She smiled at her own thoughts and turned to Forreh. “I think it is time the three of us left them to their healing.” Forreh bowed and gesture for her to lead the way. She smiled and walked through the door and Abelas followed. As Forreh stepped out, he pulled on the Fade to draw the pieces of wood back together into a door and secured it back up.

“Good luck, my friend,” he said to the door and turned to see Mythal with a raised brow. “Can I help you, your grace?”

She smiled. “Yes. You can find one of his men to serve as Amelan for her.” Forreh smiled.

“I was thinking something similar would be needed. Since they are his soldiers and this is his house, I had intended to discuss that with him first.”

Mythal smiled at him. “He will obey me in this. Find one,” she stated, then added, “willing, she will insist on that.” Forreh bowed.

“Then it is my honor to fulfill the request of our guest.” She grinned.

“You do that well. Good luck.” Forreh inclined his head to her and Fade-jumped off. Abelas knelt before her then. “What it is, da’len?”

He looked up at her sadly and she smiled fondly down at him and took his face in her hands.

“The chances are better now. The choice to fight is a harder one to make.”]]]

I cried myself to sleep against Solas. Whether from the exhaustion of training or the emotional mess of dealing with the fact that my choices had sacrificed my unborn daughter, I slept hard and dreamless. I woke, but instead of waking to an empty bed as I’d become used to, two strong arms still held me to him as they truly hadn’t since Skyhold. I sighed back against him. The familiarity helped. I could almost forget for a moment…

I felt him hug me tighter to him. _Have you slept at all?_

_No._ He kissed the back of my ear. _More important things to worry about._ He nuzzled down against my head behind my ear. “Ir abelas, ma lath.” I went to ask what he could be sorry for and he pressed on. “I should not have made you come with me.” He snuggled against me. “I know you are still suffering. I should not have insisted.”

_Solas._

“No, Vhenan. I will not do that again, not until I am absolutely sure you are recovered.” He sighed and kissed the back of my ear once. _Something else, they’ll have to get used to._

“What?” I asked and he chuckled as he realized I’d heard his thoughts again.

He nuzzled into my hair a moment before answering. “I’m not leaving you alone again.”

“Solas,”

“It’s not debatable, ma lath. I won’t,” he declared and kissed the back of my ear again. “I’ve left you alone too many times as it is.” _I’m so sorry, my heart._

_ Solas. I never blamed you. You have war to-_

_ A war that means nothing if it costs _you, he sniped back. _I cannot lose you, my heart._ “Te’ma.” I could feel the pain off of him in waves and I hurt to help him.

“Solas.”

“_I love you, Athena. You are my mate. I could not live in a world without you.”_

“Solas.”

“There is no debate, Vhenan. I won’t lose you. I will find a different way to handle the war, but I will never leave your side again.” _I was foolish to think you were recovered enough to just disappear for days at a time._

“Solas. You know I support the war efforts. I would have insisted.”

“I could have, and should have, said no. I should have been here with you, for you. I should have had you with me if it were that dire.” He nuzzled at my ear again. _I’m so sorry, Athena. I left you alone so long, you began to doubt I even wanted you, and that is my fault._ I felt him half growl as he exhaled out his nose in an almost snort. _It ends here. My dragon has suffered enough._ “No more, ma vhenan.”

I pressed myself back into him, snuggling against him as best I could and he nipped my ear at one point causing me to gasp and lean forward. My body was certainly still aware of other properties than the pain. “Solas.” I felt his heat shift behind me to that sound; my voice wrapped in a want for more echoing his name back to him.

“I’ve missed being with you, do not misunderstand,” he whispered against the back of my ear before he pressed his lips over the tip and I gasped, “but sweet Fade _stars_, I’ve missed my symphony.” He kissed down my neck then and held me back against him, purposely holding his body as still as possible.

I gasped as the pleasure pulsed through me. _Solas_.

_Yes, my love. Sing for me_.

The harsh nock to the door hardly disturbed me, save the shifting in Fade that brought a full blade out above me and Solas was already up on one knee before I could assure him. _It’s only Mythal, my love._ “Atishan, Solas,” I said reaching up and placing my hand over his forearm as I stared up at him.

Mythal appeared at the end of a Fade-jump in the room and quirked an eyebrow at Solas, who sighed and the blade disappeared, as he settled back to the bed and pulled me tight to him. “Good morning,” he finally greeted from behind me.

“Evening,” she corrected. “And shouldn’t you be handling your war?” I felt more than saw the scowl and growl come off of him.

“_If_ it is necessary, it will be brought to me.” Mythal looked on the verge of bursting into laughter then.

“So, you’re giving up?”

“No. I will handle the war,” he assured her, “but given the knowledge we have and what we can prepare for, I have at least a year’s worth of peace time to prepare. I will handle what must be,” he stated.

“Isn’t that what you have been doing?”

The growl came from over my shoulder.

_I do not want to be a wedge between them._ He nipped the back of my ear before her answered her.

“I have been ignoring other duties that will not be put off further.” I smirked.

_Duties? Like making me cry his name into the early morning sunlight?_

“Will you be training her then?”

“I will not interfere, but I will be nearby. As you requested yesterday,” he added and she grinned.

“We’ll see if it improves her temper or worsens yours.” He chuckled and I let myself revel in the sound. I opened my eyes to her staring down at me. “You _do_ look better today.”

“Hope.”

“Hold onto that. Abelas is likely to try it _again_ today.” I chuckled then.

“I will.” I yawned largely. “Apologies. A moment to dress and I will meet the two of you at the rings.” She grinned and disappeared. I sighed down into the bed then. _Hope, but he will not be able to stay always with me. This is my fight._

“_Our_ fight,” he corrected as he tucked me close back to him and nuzzled my ear. “You are not in this alone, Vhenan.” He kissed my ear again. _I’m so sorry, Athena._ “I won’t leave you alone again. Not if there is another option.”

“Solas.”

“No,” he squeezed me tighter. _I won’t lose you. I can’t. _

I turned in his arms to look up at him. _I love you, Solas. I won’t take you from what matters most. You’ve prepared for eons for this war._

_ And I meant what I told her, the war is set and I have at least a few months if not a few years’ worth of peace time to prepare. I can prepare with you at my side. I don’t need to be separate from you. I should never have been separated from you. It won’t happen again._

“Solas-”

“No,” he pulled me into his chest then. “It won’t happen again. But I’ve never known Mythal to be overly patient.” I chuckled.

_She would come back and drag me naked to the fields, if for no other reason than to embarrass all of the staff._ He chuckled then as well.

“Better if we rose and dressed.”

I leaned back to look curiously up at him.

“Yes, I’m going with you. I will call others to me as needed.” I sighed. “We’re not debating this, Athena.” My eyes rose to meet an unyielding gaze. He was as set in this concept as he was in the war in general. I sighed again.

“You are certain it won’t damage all you’ve put in?” He opened his mouth and I added, “You promise it won’t.” He grinned and kissed me briefly.

“I promise. It won’t.” There was nothing more for it. I sighed again.

“Alright. Let’s go.”


	2. Amelan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning more of each other, Solas and Athena discover new ways to cope with the lingering black cloud of decisions made.

Chapter Two: Amelan

I slid backwards and growled once, but my skin remained, no heating, no shifting, no pull to become dragon. His presence really did calm that side of me. I launched again and this time a moment before I reached him, I yanked back and caught the arm he’d extended to flip me again. His other came forward and I pulled away as quickly. Not quick enough as the feet that had not moved in any of our previous training shifted and slipped a swift kick behind me and I fell backwards, only to have him follow through and knock me back tumbling again. I snorted and righted again. I tongued the break in my lips and smiled at him.

“At least you had to try harder that time.” Abelas grinned back and righted to his usual prepared position.

“Again.”

“No,” Mythal began and I looked over curiously at her. “You’ve been at it long enough for today. Rest,” she told Abelas and he bowed, then she turned to me. “Eat.” It was not debatable. I would eat or she would hold my mouth open and let Solas force feed me. I chuckled at the mental image and inclined my head slightly in a half bow.

“If you insist.” I looked over at Abelas. “I’ll get cha in the morning.” He smiled back and walked to Mythal to stand a hand and a half behind her and my smile dissipated.

“He does not regret his choice, why do you?” Mythal stated. I met her eyes and her gaze spoke volumes. She had tried to convince him before to be her friend and not her servant and it had failed. It was not for me to try as well.

I inclined my head further. “With your leave, your grace,” Abelas began and I looked up. Mythal nodded once, though her gaze stayed on me. Abelas looked up at me then. “I serve and happily. She would not take my happiness. I don’t imagine you would either.” I smiled at him then.

“I would not.” He smiled and looked back down at Mythal then and I realized he served because he loved her; not in the same way I loved Solas, but closer to how I had loved my father.

I felt Solas step up beside me as his hand laced in mine. His healing energies flowed over me a moment before he said, “Now that she’s had her say, it’s my turn. Come.” Mythal looked up at him disbelievingly a moment. “You disapprove?”

“Who was to say I was done?”

“I do,” he stated and she grinned. From anyone else, Mythal might have shredded them into ribbons, or made them wish she had, but she knew Solas, she had known him for ages beyond counting.

“And where would you take _my_ charge?”

“I will take _my_ mate, to the library. You are welcome to join us if you like.”

I couldn’t say what Mythal did then as I turned to look up at Solas then. “A library?”

“Yes,” he replied smiling down at me. “I have been informed that you have not found that yet.” I grinned then.

_Keeping tabs on me?_

_Tabs?_

_ Means making sure you know my every move._

He chuckled. “Yes, I watch, and when I can’t, I have others do so. You are my greatest treasure, Vhenan. Would you really expect a wolf to leave his most precious thing unguarded?” I smiled then.

“You are trying to distract me. Where is the library?” He chuckled again and grinned at me.

“Come.” He looked up. “Will you be joining us?”

“No, pup. You two go enjoy.” She sounded amused and I grinned at the thought. “After she eats.”

He tilted my head back with a gentle knuckle under my chin to stare down at me. “The Lady has spoken.” I grinned up at him.

“Only a fool denies the Wisdom of Asha’bellanar.”

“I do wish you wouldn’t refer to me as that,” she said half grumbling. “You could inspire others to believe I’m wizened.”

I grinned and looked back at her. “More the fools they.” She smiled then.

“I will find your favorite girl and have her bring food to you in the library.” She looked over my shoulder then. “Try not to hide too well.”

“We will not be hiding, and I expect we will be quite visible for a while.” I looked back to see him smiling down at me.

“How big is the library?” I asked. “I mean, is it a few hundred books or-”

Solas’ chuckled stopped my words. “I will show you. Come.” And then he Fade-stepped us and my mouth dropped open. Great bookshelves, from floor up nearly fifty shelves, lined from top to bottom with all manner of book. The center tables seemed where most the loose scrolls ended up, but any actual manuscript was on the shelves, shelves that lined every wall, save the ones where great windows were. The windows were larger than a man, top to bottom, easily. Each had a box seat within, padded and the window itself appeared to be able to open much the same as the great doors around here. Everything matched and meshed together though until it was air tight. Where there wasn’t window on the wall though, there was bookshelf. From wall in, hundreds of bookshelves lined inward like perfect teeth throughout.

The Dread Wolf was known to many as the Trickster God, but as I looked about I realized that they should have named him the God of Learning. All manner of things lay before me and my need to absorb knowledge overwhelmed my mind as I stepped away from him. I didn’t even see him grinning at my back as I slid a hand delicately over tomes on the shelves and walked about near reverently here. Libraries were always a favorite place, quiet and knowledge, places questions were welcomed so long as you had thought them through enough to truly ask. Leo had once shown me images of the Great Library of the Vatican, and I suddenly felt like I knew what they had modeled it after.

_The living Fade would have made this place near unbelievable._ I knew I was breathing deeper, I knew that each spine I touched sent shivers through me. I loved libraries, I loved reading. I always had. _And before me is the greatest trove of knowledge known_. I shivered. His hand slid over mine, lacing fingers as I turned back to him. He smiled gently down at me.

_You approve?_ So stunned and shocked, all I could do was nod, I couldn’t think or speak, just nod. I felt like I might cry again but I forced that still.

“It’s beautiful,” I finally managed to get out.

“What should we start with?” he asked looking about. “I did promise you further knowledge.” I grinned at him. I had truly forgotten about that promise.

“Should we start simple?” He grinned back then.

“Food it is.” We both chuckled then before he lifted my hand to his lips and led the way.

It was several days before we would receive our first true interruption in that, I would wake, train with Abelas until Mythal called it for the day, and then we’d go to the Library. Some times Mythal would join us and sometimes it would just be me and Solas. Neither bothered me, though most often when Mythal joined us we did far less reading, as she would start discussing things and I’d just get sucked in, listening to the firsthand account of things that had happened long before the Tevinter Imperium’s rise. There were no books from Earth that I’d found to detail such things, most barely contained hints as to what might have happened before the fall of Elvenan, the Great Elvish Empire. Most ‘Tevinter’ ruins could be traced back to Elvish ruins before that and hearing of all the different cities of Elvenan, learning what was ‘acceptable’ and what was absolutely not, learning of the lives of people centuries before this worlds recorded history was beyond priceless.

I enjoyed when Mythal would come with us. She was a wealth of knowledge in herself, nearly as great as the library. However, I enjoyed it more when she wouldn’t. Solas treasured those times when it was only the two of us. We’d find a manuscript or scroll, then curl in one of the great chairs (they were closer to armchairs), or on one of the window seals padded boxes and he’d read it out to me, teaching me what symbols translated to what sounds. I suppose I should say it wasn’t just Solas that treasured those times. I loved being pressed back into his chest in the window box with the books on my lap or stretched across the arms of the armchairs over his lap, usually with one arm behind me and the other holding the script or scroll. I loved nuzzling down against him.

Once or twice I might have dozed off against him like that, and more than once or twice I was grateful to have the library to ourselves for decency sake. It took adjusting, but slowly my mind was accepting he’d never stopped loving me, never stopped wanting me. Somewhere in his mind he decided that trying not to touch would be better for me. He was wrong, and I had no issue demonstrating how wrong, despite that it broke the cardinal rule of all libraries.

On the specific day or our interruption, Forreh was lucky to come by later. Solas and I were wedged in a window seat, his back tucked to the wall, my back pressed to him. I was trying to finally get to drink my now cold tea, though he was continually lifting my chin back to kiss me again. It made me giggle, which I realized was why he’d done it. The book on the creation of the first Eluvian sat on my near bare thighs as my feet were crossed over the ankles against the far window seal. I loved when he kissed me in general, but having my single chemise on, pressed against his bare chest was intoxicating on its own. He’d pulled his trousers back on before we sat, but barring our pendants the only things either of us had on were his trousers and my chemise.

I lifted the cup to my lips and actually got the drink down before he turned my chin to kiss me again, this time sliding his tongue passed my wet lips for a moment. I moaned lightly and instinctively pressed my thighs tighter. _You keep that up and I’ll put you back where you belong_.

He chuckled and nuzzled the side of my head, his long fingers still curled around my lower jaw holding me back into him. “Insatiable.” I felt him lean in and freeze as I locked up at the same time. I had learned not to bother listening for doors here. Most Fade-jumped as needed to their locations. If you didn’t want to be disturbed, it was better to keep a barrier up, but we both heard the fizzing in the Veil before the end of a Fade-jump appeared in the middle of the room. Forreh only glanced about a moment before he turned to bow to Solas.

“A moment of your time, your grace?” he asked then.

“You have it,” Solas responded but otherwise didn’t move. He sounded almost irritatedly devoid. I sighed and attempted to sit up, only to find the grip on my jaw tighten, and the hand holding the book open press down slightly, stilling my legs from drawing back. I looked back at him, but he was looking over at Forreh.

“As you wish, your grace,” Forreh began, though he seemed to pause a moment. “It,” he cleared his throat. “It has been suggested to find the young lady, the lady dragon,” he corrected, “an Amelan. Several would serve the honor, and happily.”

I watched Solas’ eyes light for a single moment then. _An _Amelan_? Nerve to suggest it._ “And who would make such a suggestion?” It was a question lined with others and the noticeable swallow said Forreh didn’t miss the others.

“The, uh, the Great Lady Mythal, mentioned I should find one. That the young dragon may need an Amelan, but that such would have to be willing, not commanded.”

Solas scoffed and I felt his heat rise slightly before I reached back to cup his face in my hand. He looked down at me and smiled again, though briefly. “Tell me, Forreh, do I allow for commanded servants anywhere in my home?”

“Of course not, your grace. I-I didn’t-”

“Then why would I allow one to serve my mate any differently?”

“I didn’t mean to offend, your grace.”

Solas sighed.

_Don’t slight the messenger, dearest._ He looked down at me and I smiled up at him. “Lady Mythal suggested it. Perhaps it would be wiser to ask her to join us?” His mouth quirked up slightly.

_My sheath._ I shivered lightly.

_Or we could ask them both to leave and get back to that?_ He did smile then.

_Entirely insatiable._ He leaned down and kissed my forehead, nuzzling the dragon skull a moment. “You make a point, Vhenan.” He rose and looked over at Forreh then, his attempt at stern coming off closer to a suggestion. His face showing only his love for me. “Would you be so kind as to invite the Great Lady to join us here? Return with her?”

“Of course,” Forreh replied and Fade-jumped off.

“Mm, puts my plans on hold,” I mumbled as I straightened slightly only to snuggle back down against him.

“Oh?” he asked, snaking his hand around my waist to pull me back into him. It was impossible to miss. It wasn’t just my plans. “And what plans did you have, Vhenan?”

I smiled and purposely arched as I said, “Judging by _that_, you already know.”

The hand on my side drifted down over my hip and beneath the book as he said, “But I do love when you tell where you want me.” His hand slid under the chemise and I gasped back grasping his forearm then.

“Solas. If we’re to have guests we probably shouldn’t.”

He growled then gripped into my thighs once. I gasped back against him before set his hand behind my knees and pulled me back into him, the book getting smooshed into my stomach as he wrapped both his arms under my knees.

_Solas._ I couldn’t help but giggle when he acted this way, like teenager that was told to finish classes for the day before he could have his girlfriend back.

_They have no idea how lucky they are that your propriety is still intact._

I chuckled and nuzzled his head against mine.

[[[Forreh appeared and bowed before Mythal, who waved off the girl removing dishes. “You’ve found one?” she asked immediately. He coughed and looked up.

“I thought to present them to him.” Mythal laughed then.

“Didn’t think to see me first?”

“Regrettably,” Forreh said then rose. “He would like to speak with you in the library. I’m to accompany you there.” Mythal laughed.

“Per his royal pup-ness’ decree, I take it?”

“Your grace,” Forreh began.

“Ah,” Mythal said on a sigh. “This war seems to have everyone’s sense of humor lodged up somewhere unpleasant. I joke with the boy as I always have. I will call him a pup because around her he might as well be. Love sick and completely devoted.”

“All have noticed that, your grace.”

“I jest with him and he knows it.”

“Was the search for the Amelan another jest, your grace?” Forreh asked boldly. She quirked an eyebrow up at him, her earlier laughter missing from her expression.

“No. The girl needs someone, other than him to root herself to. She needs a reason to remember when he’s not there that there are still good things in this world. Do you disagree?”

“No, your grace, which is why I searched and found four that would willingly serve as Amelan for her; four that I thought he might approve of.”

“And?”

“And my attempt to pull him away from her long enough to show him went worse than my attempt to explain it to him. Now he wants to see you.”

“Told him it was my idea, did you?”

“You did say he would follow your instructions.” She grinned.

“Clever boy. Very well.” She stood and Abelas stepped to her to pull the chair back. “Let us go see what the young wolf wants.”]]]

It was peace for a moment, just curled up tight to him, before his shoulders tightened to the pull in the Veil as three people appeared in the library. He sighed and released his hold on my knees as he straightened. I felt the shift in him, his channeling of the Commander of legions. I sighed then and righted myself to sit facing them as he stood from the window to look them over, his hands behind him and the same scowl across his face. He did not require the armor to look one hundred percent the Dread Wolf.

His eyes met Mythal’s and I watched the expression she threw back at him. “Are we here for inspection, wolf?” she asked comically.

“Hardly.” He looked down at Forreh bowing before him then. “Though I would like an explanation.”

“For what?” Mythal asked as gently as ever. He met her eyes then and his flared anger.

“Why was Forreh searching for an Amelan for her?”

“Because she needs one,” Mythal replied levelly. His chin dropped slightly. “Oh put that away, wolf. We both know you’d no more strike me than you would her.” He snorted. “Forreh was sent off to find her an Amelan because I requested he do so, because _I_ think she needs one. I think she needs something more than just you to remind her to fight.”

I set my teeth then.

“I believe, and strongly, that none of us wish to see a repeat of a few weeks back.” I watched his gaze flare even as my temperature elevated. “She needs someone else to bond with, Solas. A friend, a pet, something.”

Silence for a moment. “I agreed to search, your grace, because I agree with the Great Lady. I think she will need more than just you.”

“Arrogant.” It was the only word I trusted myself to get out as I stared down at the mosaic of fine carved wood in the floor. I could feel them all look down at me then, but I didn’t dare look up immediately.

“Care to expand on that?” Mythal finally asked after another moment of silence.

My gaze rose then as I fought the need to shift. I’d gotten better control over it with the ring, with the training, but it was still instinct. I met her gaze first, and then turned to Forreh who now stood staring down at me.

“It was arrogant of both of you, to assume you know me at all.”

“I don’t follow, my lady,” Forreh stated. Solas was silent as he watched.

“To have this, Amelan, they would have to be with me relatively constantly, would they not, at least until they could learn me enough to know when to leave me alone?” Forreh nodded.

“You would call me arrogant, girl?”

I looked back over at her. “In this you are. You assume I would tolerate anyone being forced into my presence as such. You assume you understand me enough to think I would want it, or at least tolerate having someone permanently a step and a half behind me. You assume, either of you,” I looked back at Forreh then, “to know enough about me to choose for me anyone that I _might_ tolerate. You assume much.” I looked back at her then. “What else do you call that, other than arrogance, your grace?” The title was not honorific in that tone and it bordered on insulting. Her gaze flared down at me.

Heavy silence fell then for several minutes, I did not look away and neither did she. Forreh broke the silence ultimately. “I never meant offense, my lady.” I did look away then, slowly I looked over at Forreh.

“You assume I want your apology in this. I do not. I want to know why you thought, either of you thought it was your right to make this decision for me?” Forreh grimaced and swallowed hard.

“I did promise you my protection, child,” Mythal replied smiling down at me.

“You would consider permanent house arrest, protection?”

“House arrest?”

“To be under constant guard, lock and key,” I explained as my anger flared once about me and I felt my hairs respond, rising slightly.

“This is not your house arrest. This is finding you a friend.”

“A friend that just happens to also be a guard, a warrior to keep me inline?” Her eyebrow came up then. “Every person within this keep is a warrior, trained and knowledgeable in their own rights. There are none you could find that would be anything less. They would guard me, and constrain my life to their concepts because of their fear of my mate, of what my damaging or loss might do to him and thus to them.”

“You think to know every person here?” Mythal asked. “Now who’s arrogant?”

“Find me one, that wouldn’t do exactly as I said then. Find one that would not throw their life in my path should I decide otherwise.” I felt Solas’ fear kick up then, a flare of freezing emotions over my chromosphere of body.

“There aren’t any that wouldn’t stop you for being foolish, girl. But there are many that would happily serve you, as Amelan, as much out of respect and fear of your mate as out of love for you.”

Our gazes squared again and Solas stepped between us, to stare at Forreh. “Why was I not at least consulted in this?”

“I,” Forreh began but Mythal cut him off.

“Because I told him you would accept my judgment call on it. He trusted in me.”

“He knows me.” Forreh jerked slightly then as if Solas had slapped him.

“Forgive me, your grace,” Forreh said almost silently. “I truly only meant to help protect her.”

“Am I suddenly incapable of that?!” he roared and I rose to my feet. I set my hand on his shoulder and he turned to me.

“We’ll resolve this most simply then,” I said looking from Mythal to Forreh and back. Mythal quirked an eyebrow as my hair was still floating in Will-powered tendrils about me as if I were splayed in water. “I am going swimming, to cool my temper and to clear my head. Until then, shove your ideas somewhere else. We’ll deal with them later.” With that I yanked on my own Will to Fade-step me to our room. I walked to the giant tub and pulled the Veil to heat the water. Sure I could have just turned it on, but at the moment, my magic needed to go somewhere. I pulled the chemise over my head and slid into the bath, only to look up and see my favorite maid facing away from the bathroom door. “He sent you?”

“Yes, my Lady Dragon.” Her stutter and stammering were gone, this was the same but was not the same girl of before. She straightened. “I’m to remain until he arrives.”

“Did you know why I left before him?” I asked as I slithered in the water to face forward towards the door, my hands pressed to the bottom of the tub to hold my head above water as I let my legs trail out bonelessly behind me.

She nodded again and swallowed. “I was outside the library door, my Lady Dragon.” I grinned.

“How long?”

She shook her head after a moment. “I, must apologize. I do not understand your question, my Lady Dragon.”

I grinned. “It’s Athena, and I was asking how long he’s had you watching out for me?”

I could see the edges of her smile then. “A little over a week now, your grace.”

I sighed and let the water seep into my skin a moment. “Are there any others around? Just you?”

“His grace insisted he would trust me with you best. I’d been there with you the longest.” She sighed before she straightened. “I-Will the lady dragon be taking an Amelan?”

I growled a sigh out and snuggled my head down against the tub edge then. “I have no desire to deal with _that_ at the moment.” I pulled my legs under me and sat up in the tub. “He was right though,” I stated and she shifted slightly against the urge to turn. “You have known me the longest.” I grinned then. “When did you learn High Elven?”

She grinned as she faced our bed. “When his grace brought me here from Skyhold. I joined a class, just like several others with instructors from Mythal’s temple, to learn the language and the proper way things used to be.” She shrugged. “I’ve always been a faster learner, so I suppose it would be why I got lucky. Several of the other girls of Skyhold are still learning.” I could faintly see the blush touch her cheeks then. “I may occasionally have to ask for clarification on a word or phrase, but I had the language about mastered when he asked for me to stay nearby you.”

“Then we can discuss your drawing?” She grinned wide then.

“I have it framed over my dresser.”

“You truly like it.”

“It was wonderful. I certainly didn’t expect it,” she said looking down.

I smiled at her a moment before I sighed. “If I ask you something, could you answer me honestly, no what someone else might think, but what you truly think?” She turned then to face me and held my eyes.

“I will always be honest with you, my lady dragon.”

“If there is no one else around, Athena, please.” She smiled.

“What question would you have of me, my-Athena.” I smiled then sighed.

“What do you make of this whole Amelan-etunash?” Her eyes went wide then. “Would it be wiser to go with having some sworn sword? Am I being petulant?” She looked away then and blushed. “Honestly, if I were anyone else,” she blinked and blushed hard as she swallowed, “am I being petulant about it?”

She shook her head then. “I do not believe so, m,” she coughed, “Lady Athena.” She sighed. “I would likely have responded badly myself if I learned others were trying to make decisions for me without me. It rather made sense as soon as you said it.”

I smiled at her. “What is your name?” She met my eyes frightened then. “I’ve always known you as just my loyal friend, the girl I could call on to help me if needed.”

“Naesala, your grace.” I quirked an eyebrow at her. “Athena.”

“Thank you.” I smiled up at her and she relaxed after a moment. I let my thoughts run for a few moments and then grinned at my own thought. “What,” I paused and she looked at me expectantly. “Would you accept that position?” She looked at me confused a moment. “If I asked you to be my Amelan?” Her eyes went round as saucer then and she bowed near to the floor. I rose from my bath and dripping water walked over to her to take her gently by the face and right her up. “Curtsy if you must, but don’t do that.” I smiled as I tucked her short brown hair behind her ears. “Your head should never touch ground.” She smiled sadly at me.

“As you say, my lady, um, Athena.” I smiled gently at her. I gave her a moment as she mulled it over.

“Would you, if I were offering?” I finally asked and she fought the urge, noticeably to bow again.

“Does the Lady Athena know what she is offering?”

“I am merely asking a question at the moment. Unlike others, I prefer to ask people’s opinions before making my mind up about their futures.” She grinned then.

“Of course. Well,” Naesala began and swallowed, “were I to be offered such a thing, especially to one as you, it would likely be the greatest honor of my life.” She looked up at me then. “It would be a greater honor than even being a consort, though I doubt he’ll ever take one.” I quirked a brow. “If you could see from the outside, my-ahem-Athena. If you could see how he dotes on you, how deeply he loves you,” she began with a grin. “It only makes the image you gave me so much more precious. A love beyond sea or flame, and I see it every day.” I blushed lightly then and smiled at her.

Finally a thought hit me and I grimaced slightly. “I hope it is only as obvious that I love him.” She touched my hand on her face almost timidly at first as she met my eyes then.

“None doubt that, my lady.” I smiled then.

“I’ll finish my bath and stop disturbing you after one more question.” She smiled as I dropped my hands to my lap. We held eyes a moment before I asked, “Would you accept it?”

She grinned then. “Happily, Lady Athena.” I smiled and stood.

“Then I will finish my bath. Thank you.”

“For what, my lady,” She asked as she stepped back.

“Helping me calm down.” She grinned and resumed her post by the door as I stepped back into my bath.

[[[Solas sighed and looked down at Forreh as he knelt before him, before he looked back up at his longtime friend. Silence seemed to stretch between them uncomfortably for the first time in eons. “If either of you would have spoken to_ me_ about it, you would have known better,” finally he said as he calmed enough to speak properly.

“You think you know her that well?” Mythal challenged.

“I do know her that well. I know her past, I know what made her, her.”

“And you truly believe that is enough? To decide such a thing?”

“I have already placed one nearby that she is more likely to find friendship with. If she chooses to grant the girl Amelan later, that is another thing, but I agree with your original assessment; she needs more than just me.” He looked back down at Forreh. “This was the wrong way to go about it.”

“Forgive me, your grace. I never meant-”

“I know that, Forreh. I am merely disappointed that you would not have brought such a concern to me from the beginning.” Forreh lowered his head then. Solas looked up at Mythal then. “And I thought you would at least know better. You know how surprises work in general with me. Why did you imagine this would go differently?”

“Because it wasn’t for you, it was for the girl. She needs more,” Mythal stressed.

“And she has it. I have not left her side since then save the last few moments. This is the longest I’ve been away from her that she’s been conscious for.” Mythal seemed taken aback by that a moment. “I have already placed one, near her that I know, she trusts.”

“You have been leaving her while she sleeps to orchestrate-

“Everything else, yes; to include finding those that I know she will at least trust.” He straightened then to look down at Forreh. “Trust must come before friendship.”

“Forgive me, your grace.” It was near a whisper and Solas sighed. Silence carried for several moments, as Solas listened to her thoughts, and slowly heard her calming down.

“I will try.” He turned to Mythal then. “In the future, if there is something you wish done for me or my mate, at least confer with me first?”

“It is a fair request,” Abelas echoed behind her and Mythal smiled. Her Amelan was taking his side, but then, Abelas hadn’t been comfortable with hiding it from go.

“Very well, wolf. We’ll do this your way,” Mythal stated after a moment.

“Thank you.” Silence held for another few minutes.

“Now what?” Mythal asked. Solas listened for her thoughts a moment and smiled before he grinned at his old friend.

“Now, I’m going to go fuck my mate.” With that, he Fade-stepped to the room and gestured for Naesala to leave quietly. She blushed, nodded and left. _First time she hasn’t bowed. Interesting._ He looked up through the door to see his mate, legs splayed and a hand between working herself. His grinned broke open to reveal his teeth then. She hadn’t even noticed him yet. _Good._]]]

Solas smiled down at me as I finished rinsing the suds off his arm with another handful of water. He had adjusted, if slowly to the fact that I just liked having my hands on him, despite how others might view it. To him the task of washing another belonged to a slave. I would never be a slave, he’d learned that already, but I loved touching him and I was more than mildly territorial about letting anyone else touch him. I sat back then and returned to washing me, which he always enjoyed watching.

“You calmed down relatively quickly, considering how angry you left, Vhenan,” he finally said and I smiled up at him.

“I had help.” The gaze of adoration shifted quickly to case the next words that made me giggle.

“Who?”

“Atishan, ma vhenan. I would never let another man near me.” He snorted. I returned to scrubbing as I continued. “The girl, Naesala is her name. You assigned her to ‘watch over me until you returned’.” He grinned. “I wasn’t aware she’d learned to understand so much High Elven.”

“I am attempting to amend some of the past few eons of mistakes.” I grinned at him.

“Meaning you’re correcting their ‘misheard and then repeated’ pasts?” He glared at me over his smile. “Some will be open to it. Expect resistance in some quarters though.” He chuckled then.

“I always expect resistance when it comes to the masses.” I chuckled too. It was true. Tactically he was truly a genius. I dunked under and rinsed most of the suds off and began scrubbing the rest off with handfuls of water. “What did Naesala say?” I paused to look up at him.

“Merely assured me I wasn’t being childish about it. They had no right to choose for me.” Solas sighed and leaned forward, pulling me to him. I knew the position. He needed me and I snuggled close to him and kissed his neck briefly. I got a brief smile from it before he returned to his thoughts.

“I’m still a little upset about that. Forreh knew _me_ better than that.” I snuggled against him and leaned up. He had me stretched so my legs were over one of his and my back was braced against his other thigh, so when I leaned up to kiss his neck and actually ran my tongue over this time, he jarred me slightly pulling me in tighter. “You’re distracting me.”

I chuckled and did it again, only to have his hands tense on my side and back. “There are plenty of times where I have to watch you go through things that I can do nothing about. I can do something about this one,” I finished and leaned up, lacing wet arms behind him and kissed his neck again, this time holding on through his grunted breath, running my tongue and teeth over his tense throat.

“And this is doing what?” he finally asked as I sat back and smiled at him.

“Distracting you.” He chuckling then and snuggled his forehead to mine.

“Ar lath, ma vhenan.” _My precious Athena._

“Much as you distracting me, by fucking me senseless and reading to me all manner of books and teaching me to read new ones. It’s a distraction,” I said looking off to the side a moment at the bubbles still floating on the water from where I’d washed my hair again. “to keep me from thinking about what a horrible person I was to sacrifice my daughter and nearly my own life.”

“Athena.”

I looked up at him and smiled then. “It comes out about the same.” He quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not a horrible person.” He looked about ready to argue with me a moment for ever thinking it and I leaned up and kissed him. “I made a choice and if I had to go back and do it again, I’d make the same choice. Regardless the consequences.” He looked ready to cry for that one. I grinned at him then. “Just like Forreh isn’t a bad person. He made a choice. Will you punish him for it?” Solas’ smile was slow forming as it registered what I was actually asking.

“I would no more punish you for your choice than him for his, no.” I leaned up and kissed him briefly.

“Good. Then you are still a better man than the things you mean to fight.” He smirked.

“There was doubt?”

“No. But there will be temptation, ma lath.” He quirked his eyebrow again and I chuckled before pulling him down and kissing him again. “As the others die, when the final fate is left to you and Mythal, the temptation will be there, count on it.” He smiled and strung his arms tighter behind me.

“Ah, but I already have a cure for that.” It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. He smiled as he leaned closer. “I will have a different, better dream to follow, than leading all the elves through the next few eons.”

“A better dream?”

“The temptation from that comes in the concept of dreaming you could do better, dreaming that I would be a better god than the others. I have no desire for it.” He kissed me briefly, then snuggled his head to mine and stared down at me. “My desires are in my arms. A quiet house somewhere away from all of it, everyone; just me, my mate and our children.” I smiled up at him then.

“Do you really think I could make you that happy?” He grinned.

“You do make me that happy, Vhenan.” I blushed then and he chuckled. “Bold enough to stand against Mythal and call her arrogant, but a simple statement touching on how wonderful you are and you become all manner of bashful.”

“Sol-as.”

“Wha-at?” he teased back and kissed me again, pulling me high up over him a moment. He broke the kiss to look up at me grinning.

_I love you._

His grin broke open. “Trying to inspire me further, Vhenan?”

“It is unlikely you need encouraging,” I replied, setting my feet under me and standing from the water. He looked down briefly then grinned.

“I never did finish my meal.” I snapped my arms down to grab his face as he leaned forward.

“And eating in the water is never a healthy or wise choice.” He grinned and released his hold on the back of my legs.

“Very well. Should-”

The Veil echoing of Fade-jump into the room distracted both of us.

Forreh blushed hard as he knelt then. “Apologies, your grace, my lady. Anolyth has returned.” Something in his tone said something was wrong and Solas’ next question only solidified it.

“Anolyth? What of Feno?” Forreh shook his head as I looked over.

“I believed you’d want to speak with Anolyth yourself, your grace.”

_Dammit. This isn’t something I can send someone else for. I will _have_ to go._ Solas sighed and looked up at me sadly though I smiled down at him.

“Then go, ma lath.”

He shook his head slowly. “I had hoped for more time, but I must take you with me.”

“Solas,” I began, though he ended it quickly.

“No, Vhenan. I swore it then and I meant it. You will not leave my sight. Dress and ready yourself.” He was again channeling the Commander and I smiled down at him.

“You are certain?”

He looked up at me sadly and nodded once. “I am.” I stepped away from him then, out of the bath and called my own energy to heat my skin dry.

“Very well.” I was never sure where he’d stashed it, but I closed my eyes and reached out and felt the metals clang into place around me as I extended my arms slightly. I opened my eyes to appraise and as expected, it was all perfectly in place. I smiled and looked down to see Forreh, eyes wide, mouth dropped open staring up at me. I smiled down at him. “You’ll catch bugs. Close your mouth.” He snapped it shut though his gaze continued to hold mine almost in terror. Solas chuckled from behind me.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time before you chose to wear it.” He rose from the tub and toweled himself off. “You are certain you wish to greet the others in that?”

“They should know me for what I am, ma lath.” Forreh swallowed hard. “Besides, these are important military matters. Better it be the military lady at your side.” He smiled at me as he wrapped the towel around himself and stepped up beside me.

“Leo was right.” I quirked an eyebrow at him. He kissed me briefly. “You look worthy of being the Dread Wolf’s Lady.” I flushed lightly and smiled at him. A part of me had hoped he’d forgotten my embarrassment of that night, but Solas forgets little and forgives less.

“I’ll second that,” Forreh half-whispered before me. Solas smiled down at him.

“That’s enough of that from both of you. Anolyth is waiting.” Solas grinned, kissed me once more, and then called his armor to him, much as I had. He shoulders almost unconsciously came back as the armor settled over him.

Solas looked down at Forreh then and Forreh nodded, stood and Fade-jumped. A moment later, the three of us were in a room I felt vaguely familiar. A second look around and it clicked. It was similar to the War Room of Skyhold. The Table was missing and several other tables were spread about, maps and notes laid across them. In the center of the room, three others were trying to get the boy to drink.

“Anolyth,” Solas greeted and the boy froze up solid. He couldn’t see Solas, he was facing away, but I know the look of a frozen deer. I placed a hand on Solas’ arm then and he looked over at me curiously. I could feel him looking at me though I kept my eyes trained on the boy. I shook my head once and padded over to the shaking boy.

I sat before him and watched his expression shift and he began panicking as he looked me over.

It was as I expected. I knelt before him and looked up at him sadly. “Atishan, lethallin.” I reached up slowly and watched sadly as he began shaking before I touched the side of his face and his breathing began regulating as I willed his injuries healed and sealed and willed him peace. I had not tried the latter before and merely hoped it would work. I took his hand then and looked up at him. “You have sustained a head injury. Are you well enough to speak?” He nodded. “Good,” I said smiling at him and looked up at Solas as I released the boy. Solas padded over and looked down and Anolyth began shaking again.

“Ir abelas, On’ala Sa. I did not mean,” Anolyth began was already in tears.

“Na’elvyr, lethallin.” Solas knelt then beside me. “You have nothing to fear here. Atishan.” Anolyth swallowed hard and one of the others handed me a cup and gestured to the boy.

“What is it?” I asked softly back. The man leaned in next to me.

“A calming draught. It will help him.” I nodded then and the man righted. All looked sadly down on the boy.

I shifted and Anolyth’s eyes shot back to me. “Atishan.” I took the cup and held it in his shaking hand. “Mavas?” He nodded choppily and I held the cup with him to his lips. A few sips down and he set the cup down. One of the others leaned in and lifted it. “Atishan.” _He’s just a scared child, my love. Whatever he did frightened him to his core and he’s certain you’ll punish him for it._

Solas sighed then and looked at the boy more calmly. _Perhaps you are right._ “Anolyth.” The boy nodded choppily, leaning as if he might try to escape, to run from the man before him. “Na’elvyr, lethallin,” Solas repeated then. “You are safe here. Atishan. You have nothing to fear.”

“You don’t know,” he began and I watched him begin hyperventilating again, “You don’t know. If it weren’t for me, if I hadn’t, then maybe-”

I could not say even now why, but I snagged his head between my hands and let the dragon channel forward, my head slowly swaying on my neck as he settled, as I willed him calm. He nodded dumbly. “Gently now,” I/she urged. “We need an exact, Anolyth. Do you understand? We need an exact report of what happened. Can you do that?” He nodded numbly. He tried once to break the gaze but the magics lacing him bound him looking up at me. He couldn’t hyperventilate, couldn’t panic. I realized later I’d stolen the technique of the King Cobra of my birth world. The longer you look into its eyes, the less you can focus on anything else. He nodded again then.

“We left, as ordered. I was, excited, happy to serve the man that saved us. He saved us all. And I was finally getting my chance, chance to repay it. But I failed.” He tried again to look away and I pulled further on my will then.

“What happened, Anolyth?”

_What are you doing, Athena?_ Solas didn’t sound angry, merely confused.

“We,” he wet his lips then with his tongue and as I felt him resist less, I loosened the magic bond slightly, “we rested in the High Reaches, not far from Seheron. We rested and they found us. Had to be one of their agents or something. Not qunadaar. They were, elves, some humans.” He hiccuped internally then and I felt his guilt a moment. “I failed. I couldn’t hold them back. So Feno, he,” The boy swallowed hard.

“Slowly, Anolyth. What did Feno do?” Solas asked then. The boy nodded, and then cried a moment.

“So sorry, mar enasthe. I-I didn’t,” he tried to shake his head and I bore the magics back in and he looked numbly up at me.

“What happened, Anolyth? What did Feno do, when they set on your camp?” He swallowed hard, his tears continued, though I held him steady.

“They,” he swallowed again. “They fought us. I tried to fight. I thought I was ready. When I failed, when I felt the hit to my head, I,” he began shaking even through. Another tried to press the cup back to him but I shook my head.

“Ithras fra em, Anolyth.” It was laced with magic; he had no chance to resist. His eyes met mine and he stilled saved for breathing, no more tears, no more jerking. I held him a moment and the shame, the guilt rebounding off of him subsided. “Na’elvyr. You are safe. Atishan.” Slowly he settled. As he stopped resisting, I lessened the grip of the magic again and slowly released him. I sat back after a moment and looked sadly up at my mate. “He will need someone with him for a while.”

Solas’ quirked an eyebrow.

“The boy feels fear, fear of you, fear that you will punish him for running.” The others gasped hard then. “He fears that he has failed you beyond any, and he fears for Feno.” I sighed before bracing myself for the answer. “What are the chances he was taken alive?”

“He,” Anolyth began. “he was alive, when,” he shivered again and one of the others steadied the drink to him.

Solas shook his head and sighed. “Do you remember where you were when he was taken?” Anolyth nodded then, though obviously the drink was beginning to take effect as he struggled to stay upright.

“The high reaches, the beach before.” I stood then and all eyes seemed to shift to me.

“Describe Feno to me?” It was not a question and he rambled as if he were attached to a machine at that point.

“Taller than me by perhaps a hand’s breath, grey eyes, his ears are longer. Broken nose, but curved almost eagle like. He has thin lips and scar over his jaw, below. Built, almost exactly like me otherwise. We could have been twins,” he said then with a delirious smile.

“He’ll need rest,” Solas stated then as he stood as well. _What are you thinking?_

_ No thoughts. No time._ I knew the area, we’d been over it in the maps a dozen times.

“Athena?”

And then I Fade-jumped. I missed my mark by a few feet and stood ankle deep in the surf. It briefly amused me before I Fade-jumped again and willed myself silent as I walked their camp. I knew enough about the Qunari to know they would wait for him to recover to begin interrogating. I felt for his touch. Every soldier of his army bore his touch, the mark that was left by removing the Vallaslin, but Solas had a distinct energy pattern and I hunted it down. A tent guarded by three. _Fools._ I jumped within and found the boy, stripped and bound on the floor. I tamped my anger briefly and reached to touch his throat. I grabbed as he jerked back and placed my other hand over my mouth. His eyes opened in a moment of disbelief before he nodded. A brief look over him, I wrapped the cloak around us and I Fade-jumped us back to that war room.

“Athena!” his roar filled the room, but I ignored it as I tossed my cloak back to reveal the naked boy before me, still bound. Gasps could be heard behind me, but I had no mind for them either.

I turned the boy gently and brought my dagger to me and loosed the rope. He sat up on one arm, shaking and I placed a hand on his shoulder, just letting my thumb caress his shoulder as I gentled healing magics through him. “I don’t leave men behind.” He looked around a moment, still in disbelief and obviously still terrified. “I will heal what I can,” his gaze came back to mine. “I won’t be able to heal everything they’ve done, but I will try.”

“H-home?” It was the broken, terrified tone of a child that met me. I looked at him sadly and gently placed my left hand to the side of his face. He only flinched slightly then.

“Yes, lethallin. You’re home.” He lost it then and clung to me, crying and screaming for a long moment. I ached for the boy, even as I gentled healing energies through him. I would never be able to fix what I knew would have been done. They would not have stripped him down otherwise. _The Qunari do nothing without reason_. My anger burned a moment as I thought, until a hand settled on my shoulder and I looked up to see Solas’ looking down at me. The crying ebbed after a while and Feno drifted into the warm unconsciousness that follows. _They will both need others with them for a while._ Solas nodded and looked briefly over his shoulder.

Two men came then and wrapped the boy Feno in a cloth, then lifted the cloth to carry him out.

“Athena.”

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes tight. It was a gurney of sorts they took him out on and my heart broke for a moment. The last person I’d seen carried away like that had the black bag zipped over his face. _No. Please not now._ I didn’t see Solas gesture for the others to leave then. I didn’t see Forreh pace over and bring the cup. Only that when Solas reached out to me, I lost it. I clung tight over his shoulder. I knew, I knew what they had done. _Feno. Poor Feno. He. They had him down, and bare and…Solas!_

“Hush, ma vhenan. It’s alright now. He’s home. He’s safe. You both are.” It was gentle, his voice washing over me, but I hurt. I knew what the sick fuckers had done to him, I knew what he had suffered there and I hurt, gods I hurt so bad to think that would even be done here. “Atishan, ma lath. You’re alright.” I felt him shake his head, to what I would never know. “It’s alright now, Athena. Hush.” He shifted then and strung me across his body, but I refused to let go. I clung tighter. My safe haven in the storm of barbarism, my lighthouse against the sleeting pains of disbelief. He snuggled me a moment. “I’ll take her back to our room. Keep someone with both of them for the next few days.” He paused. “Let me know if anything else comes up.”

“Of course, your grace.” Solas snuggled me another moment before, “Your grace?” He paused and I felt Solas shift slightly. “I really meant no offense to either of you.”

“I know that, Forreh. You could say she talked me out of being angry.”

“I never meant-”

“I know.” He chuckled and nuzzled me again. “She sees things sometimes clearer than I do.” He shifted again. “She knew,” he sounded almost happy. “So do I.”

“Thank you, your grace.” Forreh’s voice sounded as though it were cracking for an instant. Solas nodded once, then Fade-jumped us to the room.

He sat, awkwardly still holding me down on our bed and curled me into his lap. He let me cry it out a while, before he slid his finger under my chin to smile down at me. “Please talk to me in the future before you do something so dangerous.” I tried to smile then and nodded. He kissed my forehead. _She loves, and she looks out for what matters to what she loves. Amazing, beyond amazing._ He sighed and wiped the tears from my cheeks sadly. _Don’t cry, my love. Maybe Cole had the right of it._ He nudged my chin back up. “Sing with me?”

_What?_

“Sing our song with me,” he suggested.

_Solas._

“Sathan, Athena. Sulahn sul em.” He nuzzled into my hair and began humming the beginnings of the song he craved from me and I couldn’t help but smile. It was my release, all through our time at Skyhold; I would sing. It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that I really hadn’t since then. “Moon so bright, Night so fine,” he leaned back then and tucked his hand under my chin to nudge me up to look at him, “Keep your heart, Here with mine,” I smiled at him then.

_Maybe he’s right. Maybe I need…_

“If life’s a dream,” I grinned then as he tucked my hair behind my ear again, “Then we are dreaming.”

“Chase the moon, Catch the wind. Ride the night, Til the end. Seize the day. Stand up for the light.” He joined me then with a smile and we finished the song out together.

He snuggled his head to mine a moment and smiled down at me after.

_It doesn’t remove the hurt, but it blunts it._

_ I’ll settle for it._ I opened my eyes then to look up into his and he grinned at me. “If I can find any way to help even ‘blunt’ your pain, Vhenan, I will.”

I couldn’t help but smile up at him. “I know that, ma lath.” I sighed. “They will both take some time recovering. Anolyth will recover faster, now that Feno is home.” I felt his anger a moment before he tamped it and I looked up curiously at him. “What is it?”

“Don’t worry yourself over it.”

“Uh-huh. Another fancy way of saying never mind.” He grinned at me and shook my chin a moment. “What’s wrong, ma lath?” He sighed and sat back slightly. I could hear him debating with himself whether it would be wise or not to tell me but, wisdom won.

_She’s at my side, she’s sworn to my side and my life. Well, my sheath, better you know._ “Anolyth will be dealt with.” I quirked an eyebrow up at him as his anger seethed again briefly.

“Dealt with?”

“He was trained better. No soldier leaves these doors without knowing how to properly Fade-jump.” I nodded, but he pressed on. “If he were really in that much danger, he was trained to jump to his companion and jump them both back here. Better to have one exhausted soldier than two dead or at the hands of an enemy.” I nodded again.

“I thought you might see it that way.”

“You think I am wrong.” I sighed and shook my head.

“No. He jumped, he said he did, which means he was still of conscious enough mind to jump.” I sighed looking down at the covers. “It was cowardice.” He nudged my chin up to meet his gaze.

“You know how little respect I have for your world as a whole, Vhenan. They are as backwards as can be. Did they just let cowardice go? Ignore it?” I smiled at him and shook my head.

“No actually.”

_Well, the blessings never end. Her world isn’t _completely_ backwards._

I grinned as his thoughts. “Actually,” I said on a sigh and cleared my face, though I tried to hold the smile, “cowardice in time of war was deemed high treason.”

“How did they deal with that ‘high treason’?” I let my gaze drift then.

“If you were lucky, or if the leader of your country liked you enough, lethal injection.”

“Lethal, injection?” he stumbled over it and I smiled as I met his gaze again.

“A powerful mixing of poisons pushed directly into the veins. Painless, they just fall asleep.” I felt his anger seethe as I watched his lip twitch. “Stop that, it was not too early to praise. That is the absolute best case scenario. More often it was the noose or the firing squad. In older times, Leo had told me of customs where they would tie each limb,” I began and wrapped on hand around each of his wrists, “to a different horse and then smack the horse on the tail.” He quirked a brow then. I giggled. “Not as familiar with horses, I take it.” Before he could answer I pressed on. “Only two things happen in that case; one, the horses all take off in separate directions,” he looked sick a moment, but I continued, “or two, the horses all kick back, crushing the body behind them with the force of their hind kick.” He grimaced then and I leaned up and kissed him. “Leo told me a dozen ways people used to do things in my world, but like I told you, we’ve all settled out. No real wars or conflict. A bit of shit-talking but that’s about it.” He chuckled.

“Your world,” he began and I giggled then kissed him again.

“This is my world now, Solas.” I took his face in my hands then. “You are my world.” He smiled at me and kissed me again.

As he snuggled his forehead to mine, he began, _Could never_…I snapped my jaws together and glared up at him over the smile, to which I got a grin. “I won’t say it.” He smiled at me for some time before his smile faded and he asked, “Will you have issue with my punishing Anolyth?” I leaned up and kissed him briefly.

“No. But I will not be there for it. Do it while I’m training in the morning. I can’t be there for it.” Solas nodded. “No, you don’t understand, ma lath.” He quirked that eyebrow again. “They are children to me still. I cannot watch a child, no, not right now.” He chuckled and I looked up confused at him.

“On that thought alone, Vhenan, I’m tempted to bring you with me. No, hear me.” I closed my mouth then. “Somewhere, in that pretty little head of yours,” he said nuzzling against my forehead, “you got it in your mind that I mean to kill Anolyth.”

Now I was really confused. “But, isn’t that, you said-” He began laughing then for a moment.

“Vhenan,” he paused and laughed again, before kissing me. “No, Athena. I will not kill him just because he was scared and didn’t follow his training. What does that teach?” he asked on a laugh that continued for a moment. “Fear me more than your enemy? Really?” I flushed then, realizing I had apparently confused our worlds again. He took my head in his hands and smiled down at me. “Come with me in the morning. I will explain all to Mythal after. Come with me. You should see for yourself what happens to the boy we both view as a child.”

“You’re not going to kill him?” I asked tentatively though I began to feel I knew the answer. He grinned.

“No, ma vhenan. I’m not going to kill him.” I blushed a little and nodded lightly before a shiver shot through me. His expression shifted quickly then as he tucked me up close and scooted back up the covers. “You need some rest, and likely food.”

“Really?” I asked smiling at him and he quirked his eyebrow again. “You finally get me in bed for the first time today and you want me to sleep.” He grinned and leaned over me as he pressed me back into the bedding.

“Well if you’d rather,” he began but froze as the door opened and he looked back.

“Oh dear.” I looked up and Naesala had a full tray full of food in her hands and she was frozen in the door way. “Apologies, your grace, my lady. I, uh, didn’t realize you were back yet.” I smiled.

“Just on the counter please, Naesala.” She started to bow and I cleared my throat to which she looked up at Solas a moment then met my gaze and grinned. She bowed only her head then.

“Of course, my lady.”

“Think to stop her from bowing?” Solas asked.

“We came to an arrangement. I would rather she not bow at all,” I began, “and she couldn’t abide by that.” She grinned as she set the tray down. “So the head bow is our middle ground, our compromise.” She did it again to me.

“Many bow, Vhenan,” Solas stated and I looked up at him.

“I won’t be a slave any more than I’d have one, ma lath.” His expression shifted swiftly. “Of all the garbage taught the Dalish there is one line I like. ‘Never again shall we submit’.” I looked over at her and smiled. “I have no need of a slave. Do not grovel before me. I have no need of servant,” I stated staring up at him then, “do not bow before me. But if you’d like to see my opinion of either, bring me slaver, and I will show you.”

“You mean to do like to Ella?” Naesala asked and I smiled over at her, feeling the dragon shimmer across my skin.

“No, lethallan. I didn’t get to finish with Ella. Others,” I began and threw a glance up at my lover, “insisted I was done.”

“Why did you keep her alive, in between your visits, my lady?” Naesala asked then. I grinned.

“To let her heal. I wanted her pain centers recovered before I pulled away the next bit.” Naesala shivered then and I felt Solas fight his own retching.

“How-how many bits can come off?” she asked nervously.

“You don’t want that answer,” Solas responded before I could and Naesala did shiver noticeably then.

I smiled at her. “To anger a dragon is to court a _long_ and gruesome end. If you ever want an answer to that question, find me a slaver.” Solas shivered then.

“If I can help it, you’ll never have one.” I smiled up at him.

“It disturbs you far more than me, ma lath.” I looked over at Naesala then. “Thank you for dinner, Naesala. Please close the door as you leave.”

“Of course, my lady,” she said with another bob of her head and she left.

I grinned up at him then. “So do we eat, or do we finish what you were starting before she came in.” He managed to hold himself entirely still then as he looked down at me with a small smile.

“What do imagine that was?”

I smiled and lifted my knees behind his legs then. “Probably something having to do with my legs behind either your back or your head, and you buried hilt deep in something tight and wet.” He growled down into a kiss then sat back.

“With such finely laid plans, who am I to argue?” he asked before burying any answer in a kiss and pressing down into me.

Dinner was cold before we could get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> Vhenan= heart, my heart  
Etunash= shit, bullshit  
Sathan= Please  
ma Lath= my love  
Ar te’elan ma’laima= I cannot lose you  
Te’ma= Not you  
Tarasyl'an Te'las= The Place where the Sky was Held back.  
Ar lath= I love you  
Atishan= Easy, be at peace  
Ir abelas= I’m sorry  
Ithas fra em= Look at me  
Judirtha’I’em= Will you speak with me?  
Sulahn sul em= Sing for me  
Fenorain= darling  
Na’tundral= gently  
Amelan= Guardian, Keeper, Protector  
Ara seranna ma= Excuse me   
Ma’ Tarlen = My Lord  
Mar enasthe = your grace  
On’ala Sa = Great One.  
Na’elvyr = easy, softly  
Mavas = drink, you drink


	3. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes made and the dragon learns how the Ancient Elves passed their judgment before passes some of her own.

“You’re sure?” I asked again. He grinned at me and hugged me to him.

“Yes. I’m sure. You should know, so that pretty little head of yours doesn’t come up with things that would never happen in Thedas.” I chuckled then.

“Fair.”

[[[Anolyth was steadier now; trembling, but steadier. He knew he’d acted poorly, and the belt was coming but he braced up for it. Feno was back, harmed but alive. After learning that he had not in fact cost Feno, his friend and fellow soldier, his life, Anolyth stood as firm as he dared. That lasted all the way up until she walked in behind the Dread Wolf.

He stammered, “Y-your grace?” Solas quirked an eyebrow at him. It was standard for punishment to be received without protection so standing in a room of all male soldiers didn’t affect him. A woman, a particularly beautiful woman, walking in while he stood in only what he was born with flustered him quickly. “Sh-should a woman, I mean, should the Lady be present for,” he looked about uncomfortably then.

Solas scoffed and actually smiled at him. “Normally, no,” he began and turned away as Forreh stepped up with a sealed case in hand. Anolyth swallowed hard. He knew what was in that case. “However,” Solas continued as he passed a hand over the box and the Veil pulled it open, “I insist she be here so that she knows and understands.” Solas lifted the handle and shook out the twelve leather ends to the massive whip. “You see,” he continued near conversationally as he checked down the band to the end of each tip, “where she is from, they kill their soldiers that,” he paused, “how did she phrase it,” and he tossed the first end down to trail down the next, “cowardice in a time of war. See, to her people, that is treason.”

“I would never betray you, Your Grace,” Anolyth announced quickly, pulling up to his full height, yanking his shoulders back. It was immediately a defensive statement, and Anolyth was ready to defend it to his end.

Solas paused in his inspection to smile over. “I know that.” He sighed and the smile faded as he returned to inspecting. “I would happily kill a traitor, but you just got scared.” He dropped the last end and turned to face Anolyth then. “And you let that fear almost get another soldier killed.” Anolyth’s attempt to brace up cracked as he fought back the memory. Solas paused and lifted the whip-like cat-o-nine slowly, eyeing the way the pieces moved with the shift. Finally he spoke, “you knew better.” Anolyth began trembling again. Solas turned his head then, and without looking away from the terrified boy asked, “I assume you have it.”

Another elf, Paeris, stepped forward and glared at Anolyth. “I do.” His hands came out before him as the area around them began showing ‘clips’ in the Fade, moments too obviously gleaned from Feno and Anolyth grimaced as his tears began. They watched to the end, till the Lady appeared before him, then Paeris stepped back among the others.

Twenty soldiers just watched what Anolyth’s cowardice had cost one of their own. There was no soft face in the crowd. Briefly, he thought to look to the Lady, only to shiver and look away. None missed that either and nearly eighteen sets of eyes shifted from the naked boy standing in their center to the Lady that some jokingly called the Dread Dragon, standing beside their Lord. Solas did not look.

Instead he faced Anolyth. “Are you ready to receive judgment?” Most turned back to Anolyth, though Forreh and Paeris knelt to either side of Solas. He could feel her eyes glaring at him, and reddened further as he nodded choppily. “Say it.” It was a command, unmistakable.

“I am ready, On’ala Sa.” He tried to brace up then. No way this went under ten.

Solas nodded and it began, each soldier standing in that circle from Solas’ left, to that soldier’s left, to his left and on. “Forty, twenty-seven, thirty-six, forty-six, thirty-three, twenty-three, forty, forty, forty-seven, thirty-two, twenty-three, thirty-three, forty-four, twenty, thirty-two, thirty-seven, twenty-five.” The last in, there was a moment of silence.

Finally Paeris looked up at Solas. “Thirty-four.” Anolyth shivered and Solas nodded.

“You are young, so I will give you this choice,” all eyes shifted to him; all save the lady. “They can do it, or I can.”

Anolyth swallowed hard. “I,” he swallowed again. “Let judgment be shared.” Solas nodded and held the hilt to the first man to his left.

“A lash from each. I’ll finish it.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Solas felt out to the Veil and suspended the boy, back to each assailant. Some swung with all they had, others only to fulfill obligation. As the handle was passed to Paeris, he stood, facing the bleeding back without mercy.

He reared back and split the skin down both thighs in a single pull. “That you remember Feno’s pain,” he stated as he passed the handle back to Solas.

“Vhenan,” he called.

“You don’t want me to do that, Solas.” It was not the calming voice Anolyth remember of yesterday, nor the pained one of a few weeks back. There was nothing of either of them in that voice.

Solas looked back and all eyes that could turn to her did. “It is _duty_, Athena.”

“You’re going to insist?” she breathed, though all could see the Veil around her splayed long, beautiful black hair out behind and around her in gentle waves through the air.

“I must.” She stepped forward then and Forreh shivered as he bowed to her. The golden glow of her eyes shot fear through most present. She accepted the handle from Solas and fingered it a moment.

“Duty,” she mused then turned to face Anolyth. “No.” Right hand holding the whip the left extended and brought him swiftly around to face her. “You will know where this one comes from. You will watch.” Paeris fell forward then, pressing both hands to his temples as the image again replayed and as the Qunari present violated Feno, she drew back and all nine shards drew blood. But, she didn’t draw down like the others. When she ripped the whip, she pulled it up slicing legs, balls, torso and arms all open. As the image ended again she met his eyes. “You will remember.”

She turned and pressed the handle to Solas almost angrily before she stepped back to lean against the cool wall, her hair still splaying in the Veil as if it were water. Solas shook his head then and shifted the boy back to finish the remaining lashes. Both soldiers were his, it was his right and duty to apply punishment as needed. By the last, Anolyth was barely conscious enough to groan.

Solas lowered the boy and two of the soldiers stepped forward to catch him and hold him. As Solas ran a gloved hand over the leather, stripping blood and skin from it, he said, “Be sure to tell him when he wakes that we train for the protection of _all_.” Both nodded, then shifted the nearly unconscious form between them and Fade-jumped out. Solas looked around then. “Thank you all for your energy and time. Please, go relax in the way best suited for you.” Most merely acknowledged or nodded and Fade-jumped out.

Paeris, still on his knees, holding his head did not move, and Forreh silently stood holding the box open beside Solas. Solas finished cleaning the massive whip and replaced it solemnly.

“Thank you, Paeris, Forreh.” Forreh bowed and disappeared but Paeris only nodded dumbly. Solas knelt beside him and he jerked away a moment before settling. “Paeris?”

“H-How was that possible, your grace? How did she force my mind to repeat it again?” Paeris asked shaking.

Solas sighed and offered him a hand to his feet. As both stood, Solas’ other hand clapped him on the shoulder. “With anything else that is denizen to this world or the Fade, I would have an answer for you.” He smiled gently then. “She is of neither and I’ll be the first to admit that there are things she does, things I’ve seen her capable of doing, that go _far_ beyond my concepts of ‘possible’.” Paeris shivered as he met Solas’ eyes. Solas smiled at him as he added, “She once told me that ‘to dragons, impossibilities were merely the restraints they put on themselves’.”

“You’re saying there is _nothing_ she can’t do?”

“I’m saying that I have yet to see anything meet that Will and not move. If she wants you to bow, you will; if she wants you dead, you will die. Her want she can choose to make reality in ways I’ve never even dreamed.” Paeris shivered again. “Do not worry so,” Solas comforted with a grin. “Only those that threaten her and what she views as hers should fear the Dragon.”

Paeris shivered again. “Small comfort.”

Solas chuckled then. “It should be.” Paeris quirked an eyebrow. “Have you heard of the qunari-agent, Ella yet?” Paeris barely shook his head then and Solas grinned. “I came home to Skyhold after a few months to find her in my dungeons, literally stone-sealed to the wall.”

“Stone-sealed?” Solas chuckled again.

“Yes. She’d expanded the stone from the wall to encase both wrists and ankles stretched far to each side.” Paeris’ eyes came wide open a moment and Solas smiled and shook his head. “Oh, no. She would never violate another that way.” Paeris sighed a moment before he felt his stomach pitch to the next line. “She has far more vicious ways to punish.” Silence hung for a moment.

“If the girl were a qunari agent, how did the Dragon catch her?”

Solas’ grin bore teeth quite wolfishly then. “The agent was caught in an attempt on the Dragon’s life.” Paeris eyes shot wide then and Solas again shook his head. “No, I didn’t punish her.” Paeris’ expression contorted in confusion then. All knew the Wolf had marked the Dragon. She was his by all rights and he would rend any for absolutely any attempt to touch her absent his instruction. “Actually I convinced the Dragon to merely kill her.”

“Your grace?”

Solas smiled and pat the man’s shoulder a second. “Anolyth was very fortunate that she still views him as a child.”

“I, I don’t understand, your grace.” Solas met his eyes solemnly then.

“When I returned, the girl Ella was naked bound to the wall, without teeth and with only a few finger and toenails left.”

“Left?”

“The Dragon had been systematically pulling them out then sealing the wounds.” Paeris suddenly felt his stomach press tight to his back. “Sadly, the worst of it,” Paeris met his eyes disbelievingly then, “was when she informed me that she would only ‘go until the pain centers stopped responding’. Then she would leave Ella alone in that cell for three or four days before she returned to continue.” Paeris swallowed down the bile at the back of his throat.

“As I’ve told you before, Ma Lath,” she spoke stepping away from the wall and Paeris took a step back away from her, “to anger a Dragon is to court a long and _gruesome _end,” she stated firmly. Her voice was just as cold as the stone around them and Paeris shuttered then. “Do not assume permission with what is mine, and you have no reason to fear.” He nodded numbly, but she turned to Solas. “If we are finished here, ma Lath, Mythal is waiting. I’ve never heard of her being of the patient sort.”

Solas smiled over at her, and then gripped Paeris’ shoulder once more. “Be well.”

“Stay safe,” Paeris replied, then Fade-jumped.

Solas turned to her then and noted the hairs still flowing in her angry aura about her and quirked a brow. _Leniency to that point, my heart?_

She scoffed and righted. “Mythal is waiting.” He smiled warmly at her.

“She won’t break for an extra moment.” Then he opened his arms and her face gentled as she walked into his arms to embrace him.

_I will always take the moment for you, my love._ He grinned and snuggled the top of her head a moment.

_I suppose I just needed to feel my soft love after that._

She chuckled into his chest. “Do you even realize that you are shaking?” He chuckled to then.

“Going to whistle me a happy tune, Vhenan?” She leaned back and smiled up at him.

“If you think it will help.” He smiled and leaned down to her. Her kiss was the only need now.]]]

“Again.”

I slowed myself standing this time. Mythal had indeed been waiting and Abelas had been tossing me around for the last few hours, but still all I could feel was the anger. I kept hearing Feno’s screams, his pleas that didn’t even go on deft ears but laughing ones. I shivered then. I did not need magic, I needed to slow down and focus. Abelas quirked an eyebrow at me. I didn’t launch this time. I didn’t charge into him. I walked. I walked back to him and stood in front of him smiling a moment. The other eyebrow rose to meet its mate. Clearing my thoughts had always been something I actually enjoyed, but in that last throw, it seemed to ring through my mind. Abelas was beating me because my focus was everywhere. I breathed in slowly, watching the eyes before me and I grinned then. He was waiting, waiting for me to make the first move. I felt the dragon growl in my throat once before I moved. I needed the last sound to clear the screams. The golden gaze that nearly matched Mythal’s was enough to brunt the images and now they faded. I reached out first. Open fist under, he caught it as expected, the second followed up to his face to have him catch that as well, but I knew his next. He moved for the sweep and I met his gaze as I jerked both legs up and leaned forward. His motion to sweep behind me sent him over. I did not anticipate though how swift his reactions would be. Arms still locked as I landed over him only to find, while my knees now sat in his chest, he was only knelt, bent back over with one knee flat to the ground and the other foot pulled back to secure. He jerked, throwing me back then off of him and I grinned across the mat. A brief nod of his head and he shifted position for the first time in the months we’d been training.

“No,” called from the side and we both turned to Mythal. “Not yet.”

Abelas nodded and returned to his original stance. I smiled then. “You’ll teach me the next stance soon then?” He smiled and nodded.

“As soon as Her Graces wishes it.” I nodded to him then and we began again, as I walked back over to him, only now instead of a raised brow, he was smiling. He’d learned what I was doing and he approved.

We side-stepped and swung between us for a several minutes, and then my mind caught Mythal’s laughter and for that instant, I lost focus and he swung down, flattening me to the ground.

“You must not ever let anything distract you,” he advised then as he offered me a hand up. I smiled as I licked my split lips and used the hand up. I didn’t realize what apparently he did, I would need it. I swayed once and he steadied me for a moment, before I felt Solas’ energy pull on our Will and ease healing through me. I hadn’t realized they had stepped over either. Mythal stood beside Abelas, checking him over a moment.

“She improves quickly. Much more and I’ll have to go back to training her myself.” Abelas smiled and stowed it. “Though I’m not sure she is ready for you to switch stances. Against her magic, I don’t think you would manage.” He looked at her then. “That is not meant to offend you, Abelas, but_ my _magic _might_ stand against hers and that only briefly.” He quirked a brow at her then.

“I apologize, Your Grace, but I don’t believe I understand what you mean.” She laughed again and smiled up at him.

“No, Abelas. You do understand, but it is hard for you to accept that anything, especially anything that young, could rival let alone defeat my powers.”

“You cannot mean-”

She stopped laughing to look up at him. “Can I not?” Immediately he dropped to a knee before her.

“Forgive me, Your Grace.” She smiled down at him and tilted his chin up.

“I am flattered you think me invincible, Abelas, but it just is not so. I do mean that she could destroy me if it pleased her, but that is why we train her.” He shook his head a moment staring up at her and her smile gentled. “She is to be the justice I send forth. You remember how things ended before.” He dropped his head then and I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a dejected look.

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“Look up.” He looked up at her sadly then. “I live, but they won’t.” He smiled then slowly, but fully. “We train her to be sure, they _won’t_.” He smiled differently then and nodded. “Now you understand. Train her well. When she can learn no more from you, she will come to me. Then you will see.”

“No, my lady,” I said then and she looked over at me with that ‘oh really’ expression again. “No. I promised Abelas before. In my grief, I thought to challenge you before, but I will not, not with a level head. I promised.” She grinned.

“Then how do you expect to learn, girl?” I smiled at her as I remembered the memory.

“The Wolf has many talented in those arts, Great Lady. And,” I shrugged, “if necessary, I could always ask him to the ring.” Forreh blanched even as he appeared beside Solas.

“She’s not serious, is she?” Forreh asked quietly and I smiled over at him as he blushed and bowed.

“Why would I not be serious, Forreh?” He flushed deeper then. “I’ve seen him school you and every other soldier within the army, often four at a time.” I watched Forreh grimace then as he blushed. “Why would I not seek the best to train me, when I hunt the worst.” The last words came off as cold as I’d meant it and I’d swear I nearly exhaled steam into the air when I did. I watched him shutter a moment but he didn’t look up. _With your leave, my love?_ Solas smiled.

He looked back over at Forreh. “You may wish to stand on your own will, Forreh. She doesn’t care for others bowing to her.” Forreh cocked his head to the side to look up at Solas unbelievingly a moment and I stepped to him and slid a hand under his chin to raise him to his full height ‘by my will’. Forreh looked down at me then, shocked and nearly gasping.

“If you must bow to him because of some arrangement with him, whatever, but I have no love for the groveling nature that instills. Stand to face me.” I released him then and looked over at Mythal with my best ‘may I’ and she began laughing.

“Step out of the field, Abelas. She wishes to test her knowledge.”

“Vhenan.”

I looked over at my lover and smiled. “He’s one of your best. Certainly, _I’m_ no match.” He scoffed.

“No magic.”

“No magic,” I agreed and stayed smiling. “Abelas _is_ Mythal’s best. I would try my hand. Only one way to know how well I learn. Is it just my opponent I’m learning or the art?”

“I could answer that without this demonstration.”

“But not to my satisfaction.” He glared at me then and I smiled up at him. “You can tell me the sky is purple.” He opened his mouth and I stopped to glare at him. _Don’t_. He snapped his mouth shut then. “I will test my abilities against your best. If you would rather I not test Forreh, call your best.” He sighed and reached out, sliding a hand under my chin.

“Not today,” he urged pulling me to his side.

“I suppose it wouldn’t quite be fair. Abelas did just send her to the ground pretty hard.” I watched as Forreh looked over at Mythal then questioningly. “Yes, boy. I’m saying that on the field, undamaged, the girl has a rather high chance of knocking you around, just as well as the pup there.” Forreh glared again. “Pull your humor out of whatever place you shoved it so uncomfortably. I jest with the pup as I please.”

Solas chuckled. “We agree?” Mythal nodded and he turned back to me. “Not today.”

I glared up at him a moment, though holding that was always a challenge when he was smiling down at me, and I ended up grinning at him. “Fine, not today. But you’ll owe me something for the wait.” He grinned then.

“I am most certain of your ability to come up with some, compromise.” I snuggled against him then and pulled my own energy to heal me then as the next dizzy spell hit.

_Oh, fine. So maybe it is about time to call this for the day._ He chuckled as he held me there.

“What is it, Forreh?”

“I thought you would like to know Anolyth healed with only a single scar, and Feno is about as healed as we can make it. Both rest well.”

I felt Solas nod an acknowledgment against my head. “Thank you.” A moment and he said, only to obviously grinning, “I asked you to remain to rest yourself and you are still working.” It was an obvious jest and we all began laughing then.

I leaned back to smile up at the face of the man I loved. “So are we off to the library then, or bath first?”

“Bath,” he replied with a grin. I chuckled then.

“They could both use one,” Mythal replied then and I watched Abelas flush lightly.

“Apologies, your grace.” Mythal laughed then and they both Fade-jumped.

“Forreh,” Solas said and looked over my shoulder, “would you find the girl, Naesala and ask her to prepare the meal for the Dragon? She’ll know what she needs to make for it.”

“Of course, your grace.” I felt the buzzing before he Fade-jumped off as well.

“Now to get you out of those clothes,” I said grinning up at him. He chuckled and jumped us to our bathroom.

“The bath was for you,” he stated, gripping my chin to shake it a moment and release me.

“You won’t be joining me then?” I asked quirking an eyebrow up at him. He grinned.

“I thought I’d jump to the library and set up the board for that round of King’s Gambit I still owe you.” I grinned fit to crack my face then. I had completely forgotten about that promise. “Keep you from taking too long in your bath as well.” I chuckled then.

“Very well, ma Lath. I’ll be quick. See you there then?” He leaned down and kissed me gently once.

“I’ll be waiting.”

I grinned as he disappeared and I drew the bath quickly and began cleaning as quickly as I could. I knew I’d worked up quite the sweat training against Abelas today and definitely coated myself in dust from rolling, but I was swift and thorough.

I stepped out of my bath and heated my skin and hair dry quickly before I walked into the room wrapped in my towel. Before I could even reach for my dresser, an elf appeared in the room and knelt.

“His grace requests your presence, my lady,” he stated. My stomach tightened. Something was wrong. Solas didn’t send anyone to fetch me.

“He is waiting then?” I asked. _Solas?_

_ Yes, my love?_

“He has instructed me to bring you to him.” I forced my expression to show none of what I thought of that statement.

_You sent for me?_

_ I am waiting for you,_ he thought back with an obvious, why would I ask that tone. I smiled down at the man before me.

“A moment to dress then and we’ll be about it.” I pulled my clothing out and donned it quickly.

_My Heart?_

“Let’s go,” I said smiling down at the man that stood and led the way out the doors. I was waiting for it though. My instincts were still that of the dragon, so the moment we stepped out, my body moved. A dodge to the side, I reached and snapped the neck of the first elf to swing by my right side only to use his body to block the man to my right. I smiled as I tossed the first into the second only to kick the liar away from me firmly with a foot to his solar plexus. Then I was over the second and drove thumbs straight into his eyes and back into his brain. He was still screaming as I spun to face the liar with the dragon smiling out at him.

“My lady!” I knew Naesala’s voice but my focus was my enemy. I launched forward and swallowed down the Fade as he attempted to Fade-jump away. I grinned at him as I smashed my fist into his nose. The blood spurted out and he reacted as all do, lifting both hands to it and the knee that followed up into his groan had him doubled over. One more powerful punch, channeling into my own Will as I landed it across the back of his skull, knocking him out solidly. Naesala rushed over as I smiled down at the liar. The others were dead, no doubt there but I wanted this one alive.

“Thank you,” I said down to his unconscious body.

Naesala was beside me then. “Did they hurt you, my lady? Are you alright?” I smiled at her and took her hand.

“I am fine, Naesala. It takes more than that to take a dragon.” I grinned then (well, more appropriately the dragon grinned out) and I watched Naesala shiver. “Find me the dungeon, Naesala. This one will live for a _long_ while yet.” Her eyes went wide but she nodded and reached out, a hand on my hand and a hand on the back of the unconscious fool. We arrived in the dungeons and the elf that had been sitting before jerked upright.

_Athena?_ He was worried now and it showed.

_I am well, my love. Just a fool who thought to confuse me. Nothing more._ I smiled at the guard and then at Naesala. “Thank you, Naesala. I’ll get him from here.” She swallowed hard. “I will need an empty cell,” I told the other elf before me.

“Of course, Dread Dragon,” the man said swiftly and led the way down the hall way and gestured to one massive door. I willed it open and heard the gasps.

_What do you mean confuse you?_

“My Lady Dragon?” Naesala called. I smiled gently over at her.

“You won’t want to be here for this, Naesala. Please step to the library and inform him where I am?”

She nodded jerkily. “Yes, my lady.” And then she Fade-stepped out and I smiled over at the elf playing jailor at the moment.

“You may not want to be here either.”

“It’s my duty, Dread Dragon.” I sighed.

_Athena._ He sounded very impatient that time

“Very well. I tried to warn you.” Then my attention was away from him as I threw the unconscious body at the wall and the stone came out to case around his arms and legs. I grinned up at the fool now.

_Where are you?!_

I chuckled. _Fulfilling your promise._

_ What promise?_ He was fuming by the sound of it.

My grin faded then as I pulled in from the Veil and ripped away the garments from the body before me. _You promised not to take away any more of my _prizes._ I get to play with him until I’m finished._ I felt the fade buzz as he appeared in the cells and looked up to the see the one guard still standing in the door way, mouth wide. He marched down to stop as I pulled my fist back and slammed it into the ribs of my victim. He woke quickly, gasping for breath before I healed the injury.

I ignored my lover as he entered and focused only on the fool before me. “You lied.” His gaze met mine with steel and I grinned. _A fighter, good._ “I don’t like liars.” I reached to my own will then and ripped his foremost tooth from his skull before I sealed the bleeding spot as I had Ella. The steel wavered then.

“Can I speak to him first?” Solas asked then and I smiled gently up at him.

“He’ll only lie to you at best now.” I looked back up at the man stuck to the wall. “Give me a week with him, and then come visit. I’ll have him singing for you truths of any kind then, hoping that you may grant him leniency.” I said and finished it by yanking out another tooth and sealing it again. I heard Solas swallow hard behind me. My grin failed then as the elf on the wall tried to glare down at me. “But you didn’t just lie, you betrayed my lover, not just me.” I seethed a moment. “You betrayed the man I would sacrifice everything for.” I sighed then and felt the fire of that anger float through my body like a warm hand. “I was hasty with those first two. I won’t make that mistake again.” I focused in then and laced fine thread of will and Veil and jabbed it straight into his gum above the next tooth and began slowly yanking the next one out. When finally it came loose some six minutes later, I smiled up at the crying face as I healed only the bleeding, leaving the nerves to their pain. “Better.”

“I was told you were attacked,” Solas began as I slammed the thread into the liar’s bottom jaw this time and began pulling. I heard the hard swallow behind me again as the liar began screaming as I pulled up.

“I was,” I said conversationally. “The other two are dead outside our bedroom door. I wanted this one alive.” The tears streaming his face fed the dragon’s anger. “He stepped to our room and told me you asked for me.” I pulled a little harder then and reveled in his screaming a moment before the tooth came loose and I sealed the blood gain. “He thought to lie to me and then betray you by killing me with the aid of others.” I grinned then. “At least he had the good sense not to try to take me on alone.”

“I would know why?” Solas finally said after a few hard swallows.

I smiled up at the liar and waited for him to stop screaming to lift his jaw and smile up at his streaming eyes. “Would you like to tell him truthfully now, or shall we continue.”

“Can’t brek me,” he tried to growl and I grinned.

“But I can.” I watched the realization in his mind then. “I don’t need your qunari chemicals or starvation. I’ll keep you fed and watered and alive for months to come. I will enjoy taking you apart.” He shivered against the restraints.

“They’ll come. They’ll save me.” I laughed then.

“No. None are coming for you. You are mine to do with as I please.”

“You think the Wolf can protect you?!” he snarled and I smiled more gently then.

“You are so cute, to think _I_ need protecting.” The smile faded into a snarl. “No.” I opened my left hand then, my right still holding his jaw up and ripped the big toenail off his left foot away and held his head up against the screaming. “I need no protection. But, you do.” I smiled then. “And the only protection that could have saved you is standing behind me. The only voice I would listen to and you betrayed him.” I nudged his chin up then. “Look. Look on the face of the man you betrayed and remember that you did it to yourself.”

He tried to squirm from my grasp once and I gripped harder bearing into his jaw bone. He screamed as he stared down at Solas. I strengthened the grip then and felt the bone start to cave in as he screamed louder. “Mercy, On’ala sa!” I began laughing then and could not hold my grip as I shifted him down to stare at me.

“Mercy?” I said on a laugh. “No. He cannot grant you mercy without breaking his promise to me. I get to play with you until I’m satisfied, and if I like,” I said and met his eyes with dragon behind me, “I’ll bring you back to do it again.” All three gasped back then.

“Y-you don’t have that kind of power,” the liar tried to mumble. I grinned at him.

“Don’t I?” I cocked my head to the side. “I guess we will find out then, who is right.” He shivered and his gaze shot up to Solas pleading but I gripped hard then.

“No,” the dragon snarled out. “He will not help you. You betrayed him. You attempted to kill me.” He swallowed hard then as he met my gaze and I smiled up at him, releasing his jaw only slightly. “I will enjoy taking you apart, very,” I paused and slid the line back into his jaw against the fact he was already crying, “very,” I paused again to wrap the line around the nerves at the base and the tooth itself, “slowly.” Then I snarled and ripped the tooth free, only to seal the blood again.

_Athena_.

“But you committed sin upon sin,” I said up to the crying man that now hung loose against his bonds as the realizations began to set in. I lifted his jaw to face me. “You interrupted my evening with my lover to attempt to betray him.” I clucked my tongue a moment. “Naughty. What ever could I do to show you my displeasure in such actions?” I grinned up at him then and felt him tremble.

“Y-your grace,” the guard began.

“You may want to leave, Taela,” Solas said behind me. I felt the Fade buzz as he jumped away without further provocation.

I turned and smiled at Solas. “What answer would you have of him, ma vhenan? What question would you ask?” Solas cocked his head to the side. “I think I’ll rip the answers from him. A fitting punishment for tearing me from my planned day.” Solas swallowed hard.

“I want to know why he betrayed me. He’s been with me for millennium.” I smiled and turned back to the liar.

“I’ll tell you anything, your grace. Please,” he began. I laughed and he froze.

“Oh you’ll tell, alright.” I smiled up at him. “I was gentle with Paeris earlier. I won’t be with you,” I stated and reached out to my own Will and ripped into his head as he screamed and thrashed against the wall. His memories became visible in the Veil around us then and I heard my lover gasp back as the first face to appear was a beautiful blond elf, hair long and wavy flowing down passed her breasts.

“_You will find the cause and you will kill it. There is nothing more you can do to earn your place here.”_ He writhed against the wall again and I pulled further, only too quickly recognizing the face of Sylaise.

“_And if I bring you her head? My place at your side is assured, I am to be your Amelan?”_

_ She smiled most winningly. “If you manage to damage the pesky pup as well as you claim, then yes, I will take you as you are.”_

I released him then and grinned. “I see.” I paused as he caught his breath. “She will likely be quite vexed with you for failing.” He trembled then.

“Please just kill me.”

“Not going to happen,” I said quickly on a grin. “You will live for a while yet.”

“What more do you want from me?” he asked then in desperation. I grinned, not a happy grin, not a pleasant grin.

“I want you to scream.” I ripped away another nail and watched it bleed a moment before I sealed it. He was trembling then and I scoffed. “So much for not breaking.” I sighed and reached forward. I stuffed his clothing into a tight cord and bound it through his barely conscious mouth at that point. “Can’t have you biting off your tongue to escape.” I leaned into my Will then and forged a crystal before me and smiled as it dropped into my hands. “Good.” I willed it begin and the crystal glowed dark blue and floated over him, the fibers of Fade and Veil trembling around him. “Very good.”

“What is that for?” Solas asked and I smiled gently over at him.

“It will make it impossible for him to reach the Veil. It locks him away from it, in a similar way to the Rite of Tranquility, only it doesn’t affect his person.” Mythal and I had been over what the Rite actually did and I had theorized that an item, likely a gem or metal to hold, could be reinforced with a similar effect and applied to magic users. She’d smiled at me when I’d mentioned it but said nothing more. This was my first actual try. Solas scrunched his face in confusion then and I smiled gently up at him. “He won’t lose any of himself, he just can’t reach the Fade, at all.”

Solas sighed shaking his head. _Remind me not to truly anger you._

I chuckled and repeated. “Punishments to fit the crimes, ma lath.” My grin changed then. “And if I’m doing anything in terms of punishment towards you it’s usually just riding you harder.” He chuckled then.

“Still feel up to our match?”

“Afraid I need another bath first,” I said back smiling up at him.

“I think I’ll join you this time.” _I step away from you for a few minutes only to learn more reasons Wisdom didn’t want us separated at all for the next year._ I grinned at him and shifted us to our bathroom.

“I will never object to you joining me for my baths.” He smiled then and pulled me to him.

“Specific reason for that?” I sent him a dozen images of different ways for him to take me. “Insatiable,” he said with a grin as I felt his heat kick up.

I nodded and smiled gently up at him. “Is there a cure, my wolf?” I felt as much as I heard his growl back then as I lifted my hands to his chest and leaned up to him.

He grabbed the back of my head to yank me up to him for a brutal kiss for a moment. “If there is, I never want to find it.” With that, both hands dropped to my thighs and he lifted me, my legs wrapped naturally behind him. “The bath can wait.” His left arm supporting under me as the right came up to fist in my hair and yank my chin back so he could lean forward and case my voice box with his teeth, I nearly creamed myself right there.

_Please, my love. Solas._ I felt him chuckle against my throat.

_My symphony._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> Vhenan= heart, my heart  
Etunash= shit, bullshit  
Sathan= Please  
ma Lath= my love  
Ar te’elan ma’laima= I cannot lose you  
Te’ma= Not you  
Tarasyl'an Te'las= The Place where the Sky was Held back.  
Ar lath= I love you  
Atishan= Easy, be at peace  
Ir abelas= I’m sorry  
Ithas fra em= Look at me  
Judirtha’I’em= Will you speak with me?  
Sulahn sul em= Sing for me  
Fenorain= darling  
Na’tundral= gently  
Amelan= Guardian, Keeper, Protector  
Ara seranna ma= Excuse me  
Ma’ Tarlen = My Lord  
Mar enasthe = your grace  
On’ala Sa = Great One.  
Na’elvyr = easy, softly  
Mavas = drink, you drink


	4. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So close and yet so far, the connections of the past and future interweave and Athena and Solas must deal with repercussions that neither saw coming

“Again?” I asked as I sat back. I knew he was a tactical genius, but still… “Six in a row.” He chuckled.

“I won; let’s hear it.” I smiled up at him over the board.

“Can’t just let it go?”

“I’ll have my answer.”

I chuckled then remembering other times he’d used those exact words. I looked off then at the mountains of books surrounding us and stood then. This place had become a safe haven within a safe haven. The library had become the place I could come to calm down after my matches with Abelas and Forreh and I’d found out all manner of things I had never imagined about the world of Thedas. I’d learned of places that were now sunk into the sea that used to be high mountains before the war of the ‘gods’ and peoples I would never have believed possible. I learned of dangers within the Fade that are never mentioned and wonders beyond my imaginings.

All of it dimmed beside learning more of my Solas though. I loved learning more of his past, all of his life before. I loved listening to him recount things that would have seemed nearly unbelievable were it not for that ever present fact that he’d grown up in a world where the Fade was—as he’d said to the Inquisitor—a state of being. The Fade was everywhere, always present, and he had learned to live, and grow and fight within that world. His advantage was that he learned ways to live without the Fade as well, barriering himself off from it for brief times to learn what it might feel like to not feel the breeze on his skin. He’d always returned, but his curiosity truly knew no bounds. I loved listening to how he’d learned to dance and paint, and how he’d learned he was wolf.

I must have lost myself in my thoughts, because I never heard him rise, or step to me. I only noticed when he went to wrap his arms around my shoulders.

“Is it so hard to say, ma vhenan?” he whispered to me.

I grinned and chuckled. “The issue isn’t difficulty in saying, only in finding the right words.” _Never mind the fact that I’d lost myself in thinking of listening to him again._ “Your question is far from a simple one to answer.” He stood upright and released me as I paced the library then, drifting fingers gently over the bindings of tomes. He was quiet for a while, just watching but I could feel his gaze never left me. “It’s not just a single thing,” I half-mumbled as I turned to face the shelves. _Pretend you are just explaining it to the books_.

I felt him chuckle to that thought, but I pressed on. He had won that last round of King’s Gambit, and I would pay the debt.

“I love all of you, Solas, I don’t know how else to phrase that. I love the warrior, indestructible and resolute as the mountain wishes it could be; I love the painter, gentle and precise and dedicated; I love the wolf.” I grinned then. “My wolf that will never do things in half measures. It is not the way of the wolf. You live with everything you are. You fight with everything you are, love with everything you are. It can’t be parts because that just wouldn’t be you.” I chuckled then as I fingered over an older binding gently, smiling down at it. “I love the quirks.”

“Quirks?”

I grinned. “Yeah. Like how when you have a question, your eyebrow raises, or how when you are waiting, you automatically place your hands behind your back.”

[[[Solas straightened and dropped his hands to his sides then.]]]

“Or how the left side of your mouth quirks up when you’re trying not to grin.”

[[[He tongued his lips then and forced his mouth flat.]]]

“I love all of you, Solas,” I said again. “I love how you touch me, how you smile down at me. I could live to stand in that gaze, win wars to have your touch to my cheek. Never mind anywhere else you touch,” I said on a scoff and heard him chuckle. I sighed and turned to him. “I don’t have a why for you, ma lath. I just love you.” He smiled at me and I watched his mouth quirk up again. “Does that make sense?”

He padded over to me and took my face in his hands again, just smiling down at me a minute. “Perfectly.”

“We’re even?”

“Almost,” he answered with a grin. I quirked a brow to him that time.

“Why almost?”

His hands trailed over my neck and behind my shoulders, pulling me into him. “I still want to know what you love most.” His grin cracked open then. “Perhaps give you some new examples to work with."

I chuckled and leaned up to him. “I will never argue presenting additional evidence.” I trailed my hands behind his neck and purposely ran my fingers by the sensitive tip of his ear. “Example one,” I added as I felt him growl down at me.

“You may regret that one,” he stated menacingly though he held his body perfectly still.

“I doubt it,” I replied and pressed my stomach forward against his already taut clothes to watch him jerk slightly. “I like playing with fire,” I stated on a grin.

“Says the dragon.”

“Try to burn me, ma lath. I like it.” His growl was brief before he sealed my mouth to his and bit his fingers into my ass, causing me to moan up into his mouth.

I was just sliding back into my tunic when Forreh appeared and bowed.

“Your grace.”

“Good evening. Back for seconds?” I greeted with a grin. He coughed uncomfortably as Solas chuckled.

“What is it, Forreh?”

“The warriors are back.” I straightened and my full attention shifted to the kneeling elf. “The Qunari threat is no more.”

“And the Inquisition?” Solas asked.

“Disbanded, your grace.” I smiled then and felt the dragon exult in me.

_Then it’s time._ “Excellent.” The only word I dared try for as I felt her writhing.

“Vhenan?” I looked up to see the concerned gaze of my lover and took his face in my hands as I smiled up at him.

“It’s time. You will bring down the Veil, and I will slaughter the fools who believe themselves gods.”

“Athena-”

“This is not for debate, ma lath,” I stated firmly and glared up at him. “Twenty-two months, I’ve been training, preparing for this exact event. It will happen,” I smiled at him then, “as it should.” He looked down at me on a sigh. “I know it is not the path you would have chosen for me, but it is the path, _I_ have chosen for me. Trust in me, ma lath. I will come home to you.” He smiled sadly then.

“Can you promise that?”

I smiled then and it stretched into a grin. “Before, no, but now, yes.” He snuggled his forehead to mine then.

“I will see you soon then?”

“Very soon.”

He sighed and without looking down at Forreh, he commanded, “The last march will begin at sunrise.” Forreh gasped staring up at us. “Prepare the men,” Solas said more gently and Forreh nodded and Fade-jumped out. Solas tried to contain his expression then and I stroked my thumbs over his high cheekbones.

_Do not worry so for me, my love. I will not fail._ His eyes came open to stare down into mine almost hollowly.

“The last time I released you to do what ‘had to be done’ I almost lost you.” I smiled gently up at him.

“This, is not that time. I’m coming home to you, Solas. I swear it.” He leaned down and kissed me gently once.

“Ar lath, ma vhenan. _My Athena._” He looked so sad and scared but I tried to just smile encouragingly up at him. “There are no half measures this time, no chance for either of us to back out if it gets too dangerous. That frightens me, Vhenan. Not for me, but for you.”

I smiled. “I didn’t back out when I could have. What makes you think I would now, even if it were available?” He sighed. I lifted his chin then and he met my eyes as I smiled up at him. “I will kill them and I _will_ return to you and we will never be apart again.” He smiled sadly at me then, though it slowly formed into a real smile. “I haven’t let you down yet, have I?” He snorted and grinned.

“No.” I leaned up and kissed him then and shifted us to our room. “No more library tonight?” he asked as he looked up. I stepped away and pulled the tunic off. “Vhenan?”

“If I’m going to be god-slaying tomorrow, I’d like a good night’s sleep tonight, my wolf. And in lieu of that, I’d like to have you in my arms for as many minutes as I can until then.” He smiled sadly and stepped to me.

“And which of the two did you want to do?” he finally asked after staring down at me sadly for several moments. I smiled at him, and then yanked him down to kiss him.

I needed his kiss, his touch, because while I swore I’d return, I never promised ‘in good health’. I knew what I was lining myself up to face and there was a significant chance, I’d come home broken beyond repair, that parts of my body might be beyond his healing abilities by then, but I couldn’t focus on that. I need him and I put that need into my kiss as I pulled him down to me only to feel it echoed back from him as his hands slid up over my back. I felt the one lace in my hair as he nuzzled down to my neck and the other wrapped tight behind me. I trailed my hands down under his to cling to him as he forced gasp after moan from me with that wonderful, wicked mouth of his.

Dawn came quickly and I rose from bed, solemn faced and called my armor to me. They would know why they were dying. I swiveled my head once and felt the muscles and bones crack into proper place. The dragon would severe their connections and then severe them. The air felt tenser as well and the dragon grinned. All know what’s coming. _Think I can kill them all in one day?_

Solas scoffed. “I hope not, Vhenan. It would mean they were all grouped together and though _you_ are certain of your abilities, I’d rather not pit you against that many Evanuris at once, ever.” I chuckled.

“No. Today we learn whether or not Falon’Din was full of shit,” I snarled as I stretched. He called his armor then turned to me.

“What do you mean?” I chuckled again.

“Falon’Din and Dirthamen claim to be able to feel what the other feels.” I grinned. “If that’s the case, Falon’Din is about to have his worst day yet.”

“You mean to strike at Dirthamen first?”

“The Inquisition will have accidently shattered his Orb by now. He will be weakened and I know _exactly_ where to find him.” Solas shivered once as the dragon smiled over at him. “I would never hurt you, ma lath.” He smiled and took my chin in his hand.

“I know that. It is merely disconcerting to watch death incarnate sliver from the mouth of the woman I love.” I grinned.

“It is why they call me the Dread Dragon, ma vhenan.” He chuckled.

“You seem to enjoy that name.”

“It amuses me.” I smiled gently up at him then. “Just makes me feel that much closer to you is all really.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss me.

As he leaned up slightly to snuggle our foreheads together he said, “You are close to me, Vhenan. Always.” Forreh appeared on a Fade-step into the middle of the floor and bowed off to us.

“The warriors are assembled, your grace.” I smiled and nuzzled him one more time before looking up at him. His eyes were squeezed close a moment before he looked down at me sadly.

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Very.”

“Be careful,” he urged then looking down at me with a look that begged me to come home in one piece.

I smiled and kissed him briefly. “For you, I think I can try.” He smirked then and I turned and Fade-stepped to the hollow halls I knew too well. _Got lost in here too many times not to know the in’s and out’s of this entire cavern_. I chuckled at my own thought as I wrapped my barriers around myself and began walking to the center of the great hall. I knew Dirthamen kept himself secluded with the three gems here, but I was going to revive each piece and _shatter_ them.

I lifted the first and pulled the Fade from it as I felt the Veil begin to weaken across the skies. He was already working. This would only get easier. I grinned at the pendant in my hand then. “One chance, step out on your own Will.” The pendant swung cold and silent. “Fine.” I lit off my own Will and shattered the glass within to watch the body form under, coughing and gasping for air as the Veil weakened further. I didn’t wait. I knew he’d hurt my lover and needed no other reason to want to take him apart. His second hard pull in of air was expelled quickly as I kicked up into his ribs and sent him into the air then back down into the water on the other side of his altar. “Get up!” I stepped down after him and he tried to stand on shaking legs. He reached for the Fade and I chomped through the connections. His gaze snapped to mine.

“What are you?”

“I am the Dread Wolf’s Lady. I am your d_eath_,” the last word came out as a hiss, as I expelled the will he’d been gathering in the Fade as a sheet of solid ice, freezing his legs into the water he loved so.

“You are elvehn? You cannot kill your god?” I laughed.

“_My_ god? You know nothing of my gods, foolish man.” I slashed at the ice and watched his shins crack and begin bleeding, the hot gel substance freezing as it hit the sheet that held him. Again he reached for the Fade and again I swallowed it down. “No. You don’t get to run.” I lashed again and watched his arms start bleeding. I reveled in the feeling of watching Dirth squirm against his own beloved water, frozen to him. I let the dragon take ultimate pleasure in watching the blood flowing off his arms drop onto the ice to steam briefly then freeze. The Veil crashed down around us then and he smiled.

“How will you stop me now?” he asked grinning and I smiled. I reached one hand out and the dark blue crystal exploded from my hand and sank into his chest as he screamed. I’d studied far too many weapons with Leo not to know the basic trajectory of a gun, and the Fade echoes _exactly_ what the Will demands of it.

“That’s a good start,” I stated and began laughing as the crystal glowed within him.

“What is, no, noooo,” he shivered against it and started trying to claw it out, his own fingers digging out pieces of flesh from his chest as his eyes began hazing. “What have you-”

“Welcome to the life of the Tranquil. A fitting punishment, for you.” I grinned. “Tell me, does your brother feel your suffering? Is he writhing right now?” He glared at me. “Go on. Scream for me.” I reached out to the Fade then and felt it respond as readily as turning on a faucet. I lashed again and his shoulders split wide as his hands literally swelled up with blood.

“Ah, ahhh.”

“Scream for me.” The first died screaming. The ice I’d frozen him in exploding into finite shards; nothing would be left. I turned and another dropped from the second gem staring at me in utter disbelief. I grinned at him.

He tried to manipulate the Fade once and I swallowed down the connection and he shivered before I lashed it back at him. At least this time he had the sense and ability to dodge, but I had been waiting for it. He hit the floor to dodge the lash and the wet stones rose to consume both hands and knees. He began panicking then, ripping to try to pull them free as I laughed, chomping down every attempt at pulling the Fade to him. “Come on, Dirthamen. _Scream_ for me!” I lashed the energies out and felt the cry echo back as his back split in twelve places. He reached to effect the Fade again and I laughed as I pulled the connections away from him and formed them into another blue crystal in front of me. He jerked and tugged, tearing his skin as he desperately tried to get loose then. “Scream for me,” I whispered and released the crystal on a direct trajectory with his spine.

He froze up then, but he did scream. A crystal that forced open a twelve gauge hole was being lodged up his spine like the worst epidural in history; he screamed alright. Blood chilling and echoing through his halls, he screamed as loud as his body would allow. Finally it settled and stopped moving and in tears he turned his head to me. “What did I do to you?” It was a desperate plea, the tears still streaming his face as the voice came out nearly broken.

“Me?” I chuckled and lashed out again, breaking holes in his pretty face, watching with joy as his high cheekbones cracked and bruised beneath the weight of that lash. “Who said anything about me?” I brought my Will forward and burned the toes away from his body as he writhed against the stone of his altar screaming. The sickening stench of flesh burning filled the small cavern as they seared closed. When I stopped I stood before his head. “This isn’t about me.” Then I set his whole body on fire and watched as it burned brighter and hotter until the white light became too much to continue to look at. When the last bits of ash evaporated into nothingness and the final form came from the last crystal I stood straight and smiled at the trembling would-be god.

“What do you want? Power? Love? Wealth? Knowledge?” he asked quickly and I laughed and slapped his feet into the stone beneath him as if he’d stepped into shackles.

I met his eyes then and I felt the dragon shimmer across my gaze as I watched him shiver. I pulled in my Will and formed another blue crystal above my hand as I watched his eyes widen.

“I could give you anything?” he said gently then. I grinned.

“The only thing I want from you, is the heart-wrenching scream you drew from my lover when you killed his best friend.” Dirthamen swallowed hard, his grey eyes open wide, round as saucers then.

In desperation I watched as he tried again, and again I swallowed down the Fade around him. He tried again immediately and I did it again.

“How much can you take in?!” he screamed disbelievingly. I chuckled as the blue gem instantly sunk into his shoulder and he ripped at it futilely.

“I could swallow down the whole of the Fade and still have room for more. Keep trying. It won’t matter.” He began trembling then and for likely the first time since he was a child, his eyes filled with tears of fear.

“Is there no way to sway you? No way you would let me live?” My eyes blazed fury then and his arms caught fire, but not red fire, no I was furious at that request. The white and blue flames wreathed his arms as he screamed though his cries could not overpower my own.

“Live? Live?! What of Mythal?! What of your mother?! What of her life?! Did she not beg you?! Her own son?! Did she not beg you not to kill her?! To let her _live_?!” The flames consumed the arms straight off and sealed the shoulders as the blue gem burrowed into his chest. “No,” I said to the astonished face before me. “You don’t get to die that quickly.”

[[[Solas leaned heavy on his raised leg, heaving breaths as Forreh looked on carefully willing strength back into him. “It is done.” He breathed happier though, feeling his home, his Fade touch his face again like a gentle breeze. He glanced up at Forreh. “We’re home.” Forreh grinned as he passed the next load of healing through his hands.

“Yes we are, your grace.”

The Fade shimmered around them and both looked up.

“Was that what I thought it was, your grace?”

Solas smiled as he heaved in another breath. “Yes. She’s killed one of them.”]]]

I glared down at the place where his body was a moment before I felt the shimmering in the Fade, and then Mythal was there beside me. I smiled a greeting to her. “I would not have thought you would want to be here for this, my Lady. He was your son.”

“Son,” she sneered and then faced me. “You knew much of me before and we’ve spoke of the past of the Evanuris. It is time you know my end, how I came to be betrayed.” I turned full to face her.

“I would not ask of that of you. I would not wish you pain.” She smiled sadly at me.

“But you will hear it.”

I bowed slight to her then and she smiled. “I am always pleased to hear your wisdom, my lady.” I still grimaced. I looked at her sadly as I knew this part of her past would not be easy to discuss.

“When the war started, it was easy enough to maneuver around; it wasn’t the first time things had gotten out of hand, but it was the first time so many stood against one. It was expected they would win and swiftly. They were wrong to underestimate an elf who loved knowledge so. When Elgan’nan started losing however, he grew desperate, frantic to find a way to hurt the wolf back. Pride does that to a man, makes him stupid when he thinks it might be taken away. When no other way could be found, all his spirit friends went into deeper hiding, Elgan decided he would have to go for the one material friend he had.” I grimaced and fought back the need to cry.

“You.”

“Yes, me.” She snarled the next bit. “Elgan’nan knew he was my mate however. He knew that to hurt me, he would feel it, suffer for it, whether I struck back or not.” She sighed. “So, he convinced our sons to join in on it.” She glared down at the last shattered pendant. “Dirthy led me home. ‘Dad wanted a family day’, so I thought nothing of Din being there. I was happy to see my sons, but I knew my husband. I had made my plans to protect myself years before, and hid them well. Good thing to,” she snarled. “I reached to hug my husband and as his arms came around my back, he drove the blade through. I remember looking down at that piece of metal sticking out of my ribs and gasping. He began convulsing then. Probably my only positive memory of the whole thing; watching his body shiver and twitch as my boys, my own beloved sons, shredded the remainder of my body. They had to be sure it would hurt the wolf.” She sighed. “When I came to, thousands of leagues away, it took me weeks to settle, but I did. I had my daughters and any male child I bore, I strangled in their swaddling clothes. I would never have another Din or Dirth again.” I shivered. I knew how I felt losing my daughter. I could not dream of what it would feel like to actually strange your own child.

Then what she said registered and I jarred hard. “M-my lady?” She turned to look up at me and for the first time it was regret I saw in her brilliant yellow eyes. “What,” I swallowed and pressed on, “what will become of you,” she raised her eyebrow when I paused. “When I kill him, when I kill Elgan’nan?”

She smiled then. “Exactly what you think.” I drew in a hard breath then. I seriously felt like I’d just been kicked in the ribs.

I couldn’t, not if…I began rushing through thoughts in my head so swiftly. He couldn’t lose her, not again. Solas would be inconsolable. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t, wouldn’t be responsible for it.

“Do not back down now, girl.” I met her gaze as she glared down at me. I felt stuck for word or thought a moment.

_She-she knew. She knew what it would mean, to train me to fight them, to train me to fight _him_. But I_, “But I would never mean, I would never, I never meant to,” I stammered around my thudding heart as I felt my eyes mist. I loved her too. She had become my friend. And Abelas. “I promised.”

“Abelas.” It was a gentle call across the Fade.

Abelas appeared before and bowed into the water. “You sent for me, your grace?”

“She is distraught, as you anticipated.”

He stood then and met her amber gaze. “With your leave then.”

“It is why I called you.”

He turned to me and took my hands in his before meeting my eyes. “You must.”

“But I gave my word. I promised I would never hurt her.”

“And I absolve you of that. I love her enough to do this. Do you?” His question rang through me and I crumpled in tears to the cold stone floor.

_Solas!!!_

I sat forward and my book fell on my lap. “No.” I looked about a moment, my pictures were lining the walls, my pillow, with pillow case laid out beside my large stocky legs and one glance at the face on the cover and my hands came up over my ears. “No, no, noooo!” My heart rate pounded through my body as I felt my own Will to return to him surge and then…I was grasping through the air, falling down a snowy lined hillside into a bank in nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> Vhenan= heart, my heart  
Etunash= shit, bullshit  
Sathan= Please  
ma Lath= my love  
Ar te’elan ma’laima= I cannot lose you  
Te’ma= Not you  
Tarasyl'an Te'las= The Place where the Sky was Held back.  
Ar lath= I love you  
Atishan= Easy, be at peace  
Ir abelas= I’m sorry  
Ithas fra em= Look at me  
Judirtha’I’em= Will you speak with me?  
Sulahn sul em= Sing for me  
Fenorain= darling  
Na’tundral= gently  
Amelan= Guardian, Keeper, Protector  
Ara seranna ma= Excuse me  
Ma’ Tarlen = My Lord  
Mar enasthe = your grace  
On’ala Sa = Great One.  
Na’elvyr = easy, softly  
Mavas = drink, you drink


	5. Not A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you wake from your happiest moments into an uncaring world? The lovers struggle for sanity as the things that would bring them the greatest of joy tears at reason ferociously .

Shaking my head, I stood and glanced down. _No. No, no, no, no. We’re not doing this again. No!_ I felt my body heat then and realized I was again naked, and again back in the outskirts of Haven. I felt in to my Will, I felt for her and the dragon surfaced with a grin from the star-scape of my Will. I could feel her, sure as if we’d never left, only we’d restarted somehow and here we were. I looked over my star-scape darkness of Will and shivered once. _No._ Reaching for her was almost so easy it was natural as I roared skyward.

[[[Solas’ jerked around once to the roar that seemed to echo through all of Haven before he stilled himself. _Lingering dreams_. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face again. For nights now he’d had repeated dreams, each more vivid than the last, though this one hurt more than any of the others, not for the dream itself but for the waking. He growled and threw the covers aside. _Hate the stuff but today it may be necessary._ He stomped over to Adan’s hut. The apothecary’s door was open.

“Pardon, Master Adan?”

“Here,” he called and Solas stepped in. Adan was standing over a mortar grinding down herbs in the sunlight of his only window. “What do you need?”

“A tea, preferably strong enough to bring me full awake.” Adan paused to lift his eyebrow half up his head. “Lingering dreams that are making it hard to focus.”

“Ah.” Adan said then and released the pestle a moment to walk to his cabinet. He pulled out a small bag and tossed it to Solas. “Only a pinch of that in the water, mind you. We don’t need a mage learning how to fly the hard way.” The phrase jerked at Solas slightly and he grimaced but nodded.

“Ma serannas, Master Adan.”

“Yeah, yeah,” and Adan returned to grinding.

Solas returned to his hut and brewed his tea. Sipping at the nasty stuff did little to ease, even as he finished it and set the cup aside. He stared broodily down at the flames.

_‘It would seem I have a talent for magic here’_.

He shook his head for the thousandth time this morning. Still the thoughts plagued him and his chest ached. _It was a dream. You can’t feel material heart-ache from a dream. You know you can’t._ He growled and rose to begin pacing his hut. The hard knock on his door came nearly a half hour later.

_‘You could just ignore the door’._

He grimaced and stepped to the door to open it. “Good morning, Herald.”

“You look horrible.”

“Thank you for that. Did you come by for something, or just to insult me?”

“I-I didn’t mean it like that,” Adaar stumbled. “Just, you don’t look like you’ve slept at all since I left. Are you sick? Feeling alright?”

“My health is in order. What do you need, Herald?”

“Gssh. I just wanted to know if you’d be coming with me, to seal the Breach. If you are feeling up to it.”

‘_You were there, or are going to be.’_ He grimaced again and Adaar quirked a brow.

“Let me ready myself and I’ll meet you at the stables.”

“Okay. We’ll see you down there shortly then.” Solas nodded and closed the door.

_‘Anticipation’._

He snorted and grimaced again. Stars but it had never been so hard to shake a dream before. Every time he thought it, every time it came forward it hurt. This simply wouldn’t do. He’d get the Breach under control with the Herald, and then Fade-walk tonight. If anyone could help explain this, it was Wisdom.]]]

I landed on the far outskirts of the Arbor Wild. I wouldn’t encroach on her territory, but I knew where the bastard would have to come from and I could wait. But, fuck waiting in Skyhold, and fuck all the pain that went with it. I wasn’t going to do it again. If my dreams wanted to torment me, they would have to find a new way, a non-Solas way to _figure_ it out. I growled even as I shifted down into my elven form. _Fuck this whole planet._ My heart hurt just being here, an empty ache like a stomach that’s been hungry too long to feel hunger anymore, it just hurts. I let the tears fall in the quiet glade a moment. _Solas._ “For a brief moment, I had you. Now,” I looked about and ground my teeth, blinking back tears as pain became anger. “Now I’ll sunder the world to get that Orb for you. I know how to do everything I will need to. I know how to obtain and protect the Orb, I know how to defeat them and I will. No more.” I sighed. _Yes. If we were never bound, then he could hate me for it. If we were never bound, then when I killed Elgan’nan and that ultimately killed her, he could hate me for it. He could kill me for it and he would be happy. Wasn’t that all we ever wanted?_ I felt my eyes mist again. _Solas._

I woke and hunted, and forced my Will to grow stronger over the next few days. I would just wake and hunt and train and sleep, over and over. On my fifth day back in this hell-hole nightmare, I woke to a familiar face above me and glared at him.

“What do you want, Abelas?”

“The Lady would see you.”

“And if Mythal wants to talk, she knows where I am. Fuck off,” I growled and laid back down to sleep.

Her laughter echoed around us and I glared up at her. “Such a temper for giving you your heart’s desire.”

“My heart’s desire?” I sneered back and sat up. “To have it ripped out, again and again and again and AGAIN?!” I surged to my feet to glare up at her. “How do you imagine that is anything near my ‘heart’s desire’?”

She smiled at me. “You didn’t stay with him this time.” I felt my lips draw back in a snarl then. “It took much, you know, Wisdom, Compassion, Command, Knowledge, myself, hundreds of my loyal friends and his too to reach out to you; to influence your dreams, to teach you how to get here on your own, as none of us had the power or ability to do so.” The words came off and the sensation of cool water was just tossed on my burning rage. Her words, her tone. She was not the Mythal of my dreams, nor the game. She was…different.

“What are you talking about?”

She smiled. “I spent centuries searching, he begged it of me once, to find him a mate to look passed his looks or power and when I finally found you, that request gave me the ability to influence his dreams at the same time.”

She paused a moment and I felt my rage cool further. _His dreams?_

“It is why they called us gods; because the wish made to one Evanuris is a will we could wrap around and create, bringing so-called miracles to life. His desire brought to me gave me the ability to influence him, once I found you; well more appropriately, once Wisdom found you.”

I shivered then. “I’ve tried, in every dream to prove it’s not a dream. How could you prove it now?” She smiled.

“You’re here. In all of your dreams, you are giving no choice but to begin at his side, to remain with him throughout. A strange choice for when you finally made it here. Not sure how he’ll take it ultimately.”

I gasped in then as everything she said came sliding together in a train wreck in my mind. “Then, Solas,” I met her gaze. “Solas was dreaming that with me? It wasn’t just my dream?”

She grinned then. “No.”

I took a few deep breaths then. “Then,” I panicked a little then, “when he woke-”

“You will have to ask him.” I shivered.

_Solas._

[[[Despite his searching and calling, he could not locate Wisdom. It was almost as though she were hiding.

_‘Summoning against my will’_.

He shivered. If she were hiding, it would be for good cause and _that_ would certainly qualify, though he missed her guidance sorely.

The creature, Corephyeus had come and near half of Haven had been slaughtered before they could be evacuated. It was exactly as Athena had advised.

He growled at himself and forced himself awake to pace his tent again. _It was a dream. Athena doesn’t exist. She was just a dream!_ But no amount of arguing with himself eased the ever-present ache. _How can I ache for something that was just a dream?_

_ ‘More of your impossibilities, ma lath? When will you learn?’_

He growled and kicked at the bag. _Completely madding._ He sighed and decided to walk the camp then.

“It’s him!” “It’s the Herald!” “Thank the Maker!” Solas glanced up the hill and grimaced again. For a brief moment he could have sworn he’d seen her there, but a second later the air there was empty.

“She isn’t up there,” Cole said beside him.

Solas glanced at him once. “Who do you think should be up there?” Solas asked refusing to admit his dreams bothering him again.

“Athena.” Cole’s response had him about doubled. “She isn’t up there.”

“There is no Athena in the Inquisition,” Solas stated as he righted himself, grimacing to get the name out.

“Not right now,” Cole said looking at him. “There could be.” Solas squeezed his eyes shut and turned away a moment. “It isn’t teasing. I wouldn’t do that. She’s here, but not there. Writhing, worrying, wandering in the forest, hunting. He said I would need meats. Oh my Solas. I miss him so. I’ll get it back. I promise I will be strong enough. Solas.”

”Shut up!” He hadn’t meant to snap at Cole, but sweet Fade _stars_ how he hurt hearing that. “It was a dream, Cole. She doesn’t actually exist,” he stated more calmly.

“That’s not true.” Cole’s words out, he disappeared.

Solas returned to his tent and looked to the corner for her armor. He sighed. Not there. _Of course it’s not there. She isn’t _real. He looked down at his own chest plate then and sighed again. He didn’t want to take his armor off. He wanted her to, wanted her here. He growled as he caught himself looking to the corner of the tent again.

_ ‘Now you look worthy of being the Dread Wolf’s Lady.’_

Solas grimaced again. Everywhere memories of his dream. _It was just a dream!_ He threw his staff to the floor and began unstrapping the stupid armor.

‘_Looking forward to getting you out of the stupid armor.’_

“Come on,” he growled and dropped to his bed roll, lacing his hands behind his head as he lay face down in the bedding. _Can I even dress down without it?_ He growled into the furs for a moment as a thousand images of his dream, his Athena rushed through his head, and then he heaved a breath. _I’m going mad._ He sighed. _I’m in love with a dream. How is that even possible? _He looked up after a few minutes and Wisdom was sitting quietly on the floor watching him.

“Sadly your sanity is holding up better than hers.”

“Where were you?”

“Staying safe.”

He heaved a few breaths and righted himself to meet her eyes. “What is happening to me?”

She laughed lightly. “The Void few could endure.”

“It was a dream,” he said insistently and she laughed again.

“Was it? I’d welcome you to try to explain that to her.” He grimaced hard then. “It might still her maddening if you did.” He cocked his head to the side to look at her then as he felt his own breath struggle to gather in his chest. “Your ambition was beyond her, hers wasn’t. She will draw the attention of much before long.” He felt it then, the shimmering through the Veil wall as the Fade itself seemed to echo a distant indiscernible cry.

“Was,” he paused as he went to ask. _No. No! Just a dream. Knock that off_.

“That was her, yes.” His gaze slapped back up to the grey endless depths that echoed wisdom of ages back. “Her mind is breaking, but her heart screams through her Will. All of the Fade can hear it. The creature will come for her soon. Such power it cannot resist.”

Solas jarred hard. In such a state, no mage could stand against something wielding his Orb.

“Do you toy with me, Wisdom? It was a dream.” he finally asked as he felt his eyes mist again. _Athena_.

“It was but it wasn’t.” She sighed heavily. “I will show you instead. _Relax_.” It was immediate as he dropped into the Fade and the scenes shifted around him. He gasped hard as he watched Mighty Mythal approach from Wisdom’s view.

_“You are still his friend?”_

_ “I am.”_

_ “Will you help me search then? Help me find the one that will ease his ache?”_ _Wisdom grinned then and her happiness could be felt about her._

_ “Happily, young lady.”_

The images shifted again, and Mythal held a new form, one he didn’t immediately recognize but her baring could not be mistaken, nor her voice as she spoke.

_“I have found one,” Wisdom spoke as she stood before the woman._

_ “One what?” the new Mythal asked._

_ “The one to ease his ache,” Wisdom answered and the new Mythal smiled gently. _

_ “Forgive me. I had forgotten.” She straightened, smiling up at Wisdom. “Where? Show me this one?”_

Again the vision shifted and he watched as the human form of his lover walked with the horses, to return to her ‘apartment’ to sketch him again, to lay on images of him as if they were him, to cry over those images as she told herself again that she would die alone because her heart belonged to a man that she could never have. But, he saw also that Will beginning, her desire building into Will and Wisdom and Mythal (and now Solas) watched for a moment as each day passed swiftly through the Fade and her Will to be his, to belong only to him built and became an almost living thing. Her dragon, hidden to her there, was growing and emerging but she could not see it, could not tell that her waking hatchling was developing into a young dragon and her Will was growing exponentially.

_When the image paused and Wisdom looked back at Mythal, the new Mythal grinned. “Seems perfect. Utterly devoted and with a Will that might manage shifting her here. I can feel she’s far off though. How do you propose we fix that?” Wisdom grinned._

_ “We influence both, his love will bind her further, and her Will, if taught under him, will bring her; _She_ will bring her here, for him.” Mythal grinned then._

_ “I should have known you would think of everything.”_

_ “Not everything. I don’t have the power alone to do this.”_

_ Mythal nodded with a smile. “It will take many of us, just to reach her. Thankfully he still sleeps or this could be most challenging.” Wisdom nodded then._

_ “Forreh has been made aware to watch over him but to keep him sleeping a little longer.”_

_ “The boy wants to help as well?” Mythal asked and Wisdom nodded again._

_ “Several of his friends have offered to lend aid.” Mythal smiled proudly then._

_ “Then we do this. He will forgive us influencing ultimately, and we grant her wish, both of their wishes. I will bring my others to bear. When should we begin?”_

_ “Tomorrow evening, his friends and I will convene near him and we will use all we can to help.”_

The image faded and Solas heaved breaths as his body shook. “Not a dream then?”

“It was but it wasn’t," Wisdom repeated softly. "She felt it, as well as you and several others were affected; Abelas, Compassion, Knowledge, myself,” she listed casually.

“She felt it?” The question came on a single breath as his heart shifted painfully.

“Yes. The pain you feel, the maddening she is experiencing is because you _are_ bonded, but the bonds beyond your dreams are loose. Look,” she said and illuminated the loose flowing tendrils floating about him. She reached out and touched one end and he nearly screamed. “It is not me they seek.”

He was regaining his breath from the pain when he heard it and the Fade about him shook.

_SOLAS!!_

He stared up at Wisdom then.

“Yes. She is here, well, in Thedas’ Unchanging World.”

His desire to ask where shifted the Fade about him as he watched her drop in the bank beyond Haven and begin screaming before her form shifted into her beautiful full grown dragon and belted a scream skyward. _It hadn’t been lingering dreams. Athena_. He watched as she landed beyond Mythal’s temple in the Arbor Wilds and returned to her Elven form and doubled over crying as the pain took her. He grimaced hard to watch her suffering. The scenes flowed faster as he watched Wisdom’s hand pass by him once and he watched her wake and hunt and cry and sleep, each day getting worse than the last.

Now the scene before him slowed and he watched her now, watched as the Elf he loved so writhed against the ground, pressing palms hard over her own ears, watched as Mythal and Abelas sat trying to still her thrashing and with all their power were barely able to contain it at all. Her mouth dropped open from her heaving breaths wider as she screeched her scream that echoed over him again.

“_SOLAS!!!”_

It was the end of his endurance as he rose to his feet. _Forreh!_ A moment later his friend appeared bowed before him. “Send one to gather what is mine from the Inquisition and have them shifted to the Crossroads.”

“Your grace?”

“I hunt a dragon,” and in that moment he shifted to his Dread Wolf form and called through the Fade a trembling howl only to watch her writhe was a moment and brought himself full back to his body. Wisdom shook her head as she stood behind him.

“You mustn’t,” to which she received only a growl before he was out of the tent and at a full run to the West, Fade-jumping distances at every other leap and before thinking much of it he shifted and the full gait of the wolf sent him shivering across the frostbacks and down into the Wilds.

_Athena!_]]]


	6. End It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanity torn to its finest of shreds, Athena begins her final hunt, praying she can face the end with at least a smile for the man she loves, the man that must be her death.

The pain of his absence had become overwhelming day by day beating what resolve I had to shreds but still I would not go to him, I would not do it again. I would not allow him to hurt because I was here, I would not endanger him with my presence.

_No. SOLAS! _My throat hurt for screaming but it was barely discernable to the shredding ache that echoed through my entire body. Everywhere, every thought returned to him, every want and I writhed again. I could feel it, the stilling energies of another but it hardly mattered. _SOLAS! _

The words didn’t register but the stilling disappeared and I heard the tone I knew and surged upwards on a growl as I faced the twisted form before me.

“So this is the power that shifts through Fade and Unchanging World alike.” The crystals came to me naturally and I lodged them within his form before he realized they had formed about him. His terrified scream hardly mattered, I couldn’t hear it over my own heart screaming the same song it’d screeched for days now. His mouth dropped and he stared up at me as his eyes clouded to unfocused pools. He said something but it didn’t matter. I called Solas’ barrier to me and immediately the Orb jumped from his possession to float above me. The dragon head snapped down at me but my power, almost on its own, ripped out and severed its head from its hideous body and the jaws lay open over the now dying embers of what had once been a fire, but I could no more care about that than anything else. Only one thing mattered. _SOLAS!_ I felt it echo back again and the Veil shifted and shook with the cry.

Mythal’s face appeared in my vision briefly. She tried to speak to say something, but I could not hear her, and did not try. I jumped then, I knew where Dirthamen was, I knew where to find him.

_They will not hurt him. They cannot be allowed to hurt him. I’ll sunder the Veil myself. SOLAS! _ I doubled for a moment then as I stepped through the halls. The pain wouldn’t still. I would succeed, I had to. I would not let them harm him. I knew the places, every place where the Veil ‘wards’ he’d called them were and I lit them all off from one pull off of the powers of that Orb and I felt as the Veil crashed down like so fine of glass about us.

Andruil was waiting beside the pendants as I dragged foot after foot forward through the waters. She spoke, but her words registered no more than Mythal’s had.

[[[Solas gasped for breathe a moment as he felt the Veil crash about him and the entirety of the Unchanging World shifted and merged back as it once had been. He moved faster then and in moments stood before Mythal. “Where is she?!” The great jaws demanded.

“I don’t know, Solas.”

He growled down at her then as he took in the shredded dragon and the human lodged with a dozen of her blue fade-containing crystals. His mate was somewhere, here somewhere and he howled skyward as he pulled in to his old powers. Feeling out, he reached for the memory of her writhing and the Fade showed him Corephyeus’ end before it echoed her thoughts and he jumped to the temple of Dirthamen in the Marchs.]]]

Andruil screamed as the crystals appeared and drove through her. She went to double but her jaw landed swiftly in my raised hand and I crushed her skull in. I think she tried to scream again but I didn’t bother looking. I didn’t care. _SOLAS!_ The echoing scream in my heart ricocheting through my head was all I could hear, all I could feel anymore. I think my hand dripped something then, but whether it was water from the temple or blood from her head made no difference as I dragged my feet forward, swaying with the motion as my body responded as if attached to marionette strings. I hardly saw the crystals as my hands reached for them and I shattered them all together before me and Dirthamen’s pretty face appeared in my vision backing away slowly. He was screaming something, but it didn’t matter. His screams could not overpower the scream echoing from my heart. _SOLAS!_

[[[“I know that Orb! Where did you get that?!” Solas would know the voice of Mythal’s younger son anywhere as he ran through the Temple he’d help construct.

The Fade echoed it back again as she screamed his name and he forced himself to move faster. His elven form seemed so slow but the wolf would never fit in these halls.

“You’re elven. You cannot kill your god.”

Again his name echoed and he heard Dirth’s fear as the next line shivered from his mind through his mouth.

“You’re mad!” Just before the echoing screaming through the halls as Dirth howled his last and the scream faded into silence. Solas burst into the main throne room of the altar chamber to see her swaying staring down at the white hot flames, his Orb hovering over her head as it had his once. And then her head rolled back and she screeched the Dragon’s scream to the halls and he felt the blow from that just before he watched her disappear. “Athena!”

Looking about, the flames died and that was all the proof that would ever be of Dirthamen’s existence. The once body of Andruil was lined in blue crystals and her face was no more, seeming to have been crushed in completely, though her bow twanged as it broke and burned on the pyre that was once Dirthamen.

_I will sunder Andruil’s bow before I cast her into the darkest crystal to throw her into the sun_.

_Athena._ He shivered as he realized they had both died screaming, before it hit him hard. She was hunting. He shivered as he felt the Fade cast back another blast as another died. He jumped to the feeling only to watch as the glade that was once Sylaise’s most holy ground burned in brilliant white fire and the blue crystals within cracked and shattered. _Three down. Where will she go next? Athena._ ]]]

“I had nothing to do with the maiming of your lover. Please.” But Ghilan’nain’s cries could not reach past my own either and reached hand slowly to lay over the muzzled of the golden halla. She shivered once before my grip closed around it and broke the bones in to the skull against the struggling. I think the horns slashed at me at some point, but I could not feel it.

_SOLAS!_ I waited, until the twitching stopped and burned the corpse. Nothing would be left of the ones that hurt him. Nothing would be left. _Sunder the world…SOLAS!_

[[[Wisdom appeared before him as he watched the fire burn over the halla that was once Andruil’s prized lover. “I’m so sorry, my friend.”

“For what?” He knew he sounded as testy as he felt.

“In your dreams I could just jump ahead, to see when I would need to help. But,” she paused and he watched true tears form and his curiosity still his anger for a moment. Wisdom did not cry. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” he repeated almost angrily.

“I knew, I knew that being apart would be hard on you both, but I thought we could, Mythal was trying to get her to come to you, to stop this nonsense but,” she paused again and the tears fell. “She chose madness instead, screaming she would not hurt you again. I couldn’t stop it. I’m so sorry.”

“She’s not gone,” Solas said softly as he smiled gently at his friend a moment as his name echoed back over the Fade again. “She still loves me. I can still save her.” He smiled. “She done everything else I’d meant to. She’s brought down the Veil, and now systemically,” he began and felt the Fade shiver again as another greater being was ripped from existence. He nodded. “She will end them all. And then we will be together.”

“It may be too late,” Wisdom cautioned.

“It won’t matter,” he whispered as the flames died slowly before him. “We will be together.”

“My friend?”

He disappeared then from her sight and Fade-jumped. Enough chasing, he would follow no more. He arrived and smiled as Elgan’nan drew his bow. He did not move otherwise as Din’s dagger jumped to his hand and both turned to face him.

“You’re the one killing us off?” Elgan’nan demanded and Solas smiled and shook his head.

“No. I wish I was, but no.” He turned his back then. She would come, he knew, she would come.

“You dare!” Falon’Din shouted before the Fade shivered again.

Solas smiled. “Goodbye, June.”

“How do you-”

“Because he was the only one left, other than you two,” Solas shot back but did not turn. A moment and he felt the Fade shiver. He smiled then as he saw her, but only for a moment before the dead eyes met his.

“Soon, my love. Very soon.” The words came out of a swaying head.

“Athena?”

Her eyes left his then as they locked with Elgan’nan. “Soon,” and she stepped forward and Solas heaved a few heavy breaths in then as he watched her stagger almost undead-like towards his ancient enemy.

“Athena?” he asked almost afraid then.

Falon’Din’s attempt to charge her on a Fade-jump landed him against a dozen blue spikes that appeared as a wall as her hand cast him aside as if he were a sheet of cloth.

“Athena.”

Her head rolled back again as it had in Dirthamen’s temple and the shout came again, stunning air from both him and Elgan’nan.

“_SOLAS!_”

“He’s behind you.” Elgan’nan’s bow dropped as he stared at the power staggering towards him as his eyes came wide. “That’s how you did it. You’ve gone completely mad. Nothing can,” he paused, swallowing as he shook his head. “We’ll do it his way. I will relinquish all power, all decisions. The pup can have it his way. Release the slaves, everything.” His voice was a desperate plea as he watched the woman shuffle slowly towards him, truly too terrified to try to Jump, to move.

Her hand rose to gently touch his face and for a moment he hoped before her head rolled back and the blast shook air from him again.

“_SOLAS!_”

“Right here, my love,” he called to her then.

For a moment, Elgan’nan held hope as a spark of life met the undead eyes, golden fire echoed back from near black pits before it died.

“Forgive me.”

Then the hand, quick as lightening, closed around his throat and broke it inward against his screams and thrashing. He tried to fight, tried to lash against her. Briefly he saw crystals in his periphery shimmering around them both as the dragon took its true form and crushed his tiny elven body into a pulp in its great claws. The reverberation shook the Veil and Solas closed his eyes as he felt it echo from behind him as well as in front.

The crystals disappeared and she willed her body back to her elven form to meet dark eyes with his. The amber he loved so was dimmed to near ebony as she slowly lifted her hands and in his barrier shifted his Orb from above her back to him. He took it and sent it to the Crossroads immediately before he stared down at her still swaying form.

“End it,” she said softly and he stared at her in confusion then. “End it. I am the cause. No more pain for my wolf.” It was a near whisper then. “End it. I killed her this time. Avenge her and live well, my love. End it.”

It snapped together in his mind almost explosively. _That was why? That was it?!_ He rushed to her then and though she braced herself for the blade it was not what met her. Warm hands grasped her head as once they had before and pressed her up to him, kissing her desperately as he wrapped his arms tight around her pulling her as close as he could. _No more._ The loose tendrils about him snapped into place almost painfully with her and she gasped in breaths as he nuzzled against her head, trying to breath passed the sensations. “Stupid.” The only word he could get out before he leaned to kiss her neck and pulled her up higher. “My stupid, wonderful Athena. No,” he sat back only barely enough to stare down at the eyes that fought between undead ebony and disbelieving amber in shimmering tears.

“You’re supposed to hate me. So you could-” he sealed her argument in a near brutal kiss then.

_That was it, that was why you wouldn’t come to me, why you fought Wisdom and Mythal. Faded Stars. Athena._ He broke the kiss suddenly then, leaning back to take her face in his hands and put all his Will behind forcing her to meet him, meet his gaze. “No, Athena. I could never hate you.” He sighed and looked down as the battle for her soul fought loudly through her gaze. “You are my mate, Ma Vhenan. I won’t lose you.” The last words crumpled her forward in tears against him and he held against her own thrashing then. “I know. It hurts, but we’ll make it alright.” He kissed the top of her head as he struggled against her own pain, the pain that had nearly consumed all of her sanity.

She cried and cried and clung and tried to shove him away and thrashed for what seemed a small eternity before she caved and just lay still against him for a while.

He smiled at his own memory a moment against his own tears for her pain. “No more, Athena. You promised.” He shifted to look down at her and her dull amber stared up at him sadly. “It’s all over.” His hand came around to tuck under her chin as he stared lovingly down at the face he’d know until his eyes were stripped of him. “And we will never be apart again.”

The heart-sick whisper then was all the proof he would ever need. “Solas.”

“It will be alright, Vhenan. I promise.” He tucked her closer and burrowed against her hair. "It will be alright."


End file.
